1
00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:09,236
Bend Her

2
00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:46,835
MALE ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the
games of the 3004 Earth olympiad!

3
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:51,039
Continuing this network's tradition
of sportscasting excellence.

4
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:55,716
CeIebrity Ape Fight will return
next week at its regular time.

5
00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:57,359
Who shouId I root for? America?

6
00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:59,795
Or a country
I Iearned about at the food court?

7
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:01,757
How about those guys?

8
00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:04,992
LEELA: No. They're from the RepubIic
of French Stereotypes.

9
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:06,633
Everybody hates them.

10
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,518
Oh. Let's go check on Hermes.

11
00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:13,913
AII this inspiring muIticuIturaIism
is angrying up my bIood!

12
00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:18,879
Sweden? I don't think so.

13
00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:23,878
Go on, stick, touch me. Can't do it.

14
00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:28,039
Husband! You haven't been
an OIympic-cIass Iimbo-er for 20 years!

15
00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:29,952
Quit Iying to your pudgy seIf.

16
00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:33,709
It seems Iike Jamaica wouId be abIe
to fieId a strong Iimbo team without you.

17
00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:36,269
Yeah. Isn't that basicaIIy
aII Jamaicans do?

18
00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:37,919
Jamaicans have other interests!

19
00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:40,674
Which is why the Iimbo team
got detained at the airport.

20
00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:44,509
That's when they begged my husband to
step in and make an ass out of himseIf.

21
00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:46,915
And I said I'd try my very best.

22
00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:50,874
But have they seen your, you know,
physique since the oId days?

23
00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:54,749
I described it to them on the phone
using a series of artfuI euphemisms.

24
00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:57,434
Don't worry. The fat pig wiII do fine. . .

25
00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:02,151
. . .thanks to this FIabbo-Dynamic
SpandeX Body Suit I've designed.

26
00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:07,235
It redistributes his weight, shifting
his center of gravity cIoser to his knees.

27
00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:10,953
Ooh, that's snug. Oh!

28
00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:15,272
-Those haven't descended in years!
-Now, that's a Iimbo-er's body!

29
00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:17,671
Look at that fine Jamaican bacon!

30
00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:24,357
Shut up, Zoidberg!
The robot bending events are starting.

31
00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:30,589
Something teIIs me I couId easiIy beat
those trained professionaIs.

32
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,712
Wow! That guy must be, Iike,
the worId's greatest bender!

33
00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:47,440
My dreams of gIory died
before they began.

34
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:50,398
WeIcome to my Iife.

35
00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:55,715
FEMALE ANNOUNCER:
Athletes, please take your lanes...

36
00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:58,599
...for the Men 's 500 Meter Limbo.

37
00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:03,754
Hermes Conrad, is that you inside
that dumpy IittIe fat man?

38
00:03:03,920 --> 00:03:06,354
Barbados SIim!
What are you doing here?

39
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:10,308
-Last time I heard, you were in Barbados.
-Yes, and I'II be going back there. . .

40
00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:16,077
. . .with a goId medaI draped around
my eIegant Caribbean shouIders.

41
00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:19,998
Your body may be as perfectIy scuIpted
as it was 20 years ago. . .

42
00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:22,310
. . .when you whupped my fat ass
every time.

43
00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:27,110
But today, I feeI Iucky.

44
00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:32,440
I see you're stiII abIe to Iimbo
under the bar of fashion sense.

45
00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:36,556
That's it, Barbados SIim!
You've gone one toke over the Iine!

46
00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:39,439
Limbo-ers, on your marks.

47
00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:44,276
Get rubbery. Limbo!

48
00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:47,199
MALE ANNOUNCER: There they go!
And Barbados Slim takes an early lead.

49
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:48,873
God, I hope he wins.

50
00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:53,673
What's this?
Hermes Conrad is closing the gap.

51
00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:56,638
He's limboed out of retirement
and straight into my heart.

52
00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,997
I say, ''Go to hell, Barbados Slim!''

53
00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:01,713
-Go, body suit! Go!
-Come on!

54
00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:06,517
Come on, Hermes!
Beat that mahogany god!

55
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:08,751
MALE ANNOUNCER:
It's Barbados, then Conrad.

56
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,633
Conrad pulls ahead.

57
00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:22,111
And Conrad is disqualified!

58
00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:25,750
Barbados Slim, my hero, takes the gold!

59
00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:29,957
Oh, there, there, Hermes.
You did your best.

60
00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:32,475
If I'd wanted a human adonis
for a husband. . .

61
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,790
. . .I'd have stayed married
to Barbados SIim.

62
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,278
WeII, enough about Hermes.
I couIdn't win a medaI either.

63
00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:40,954
Even at bending,
the thing I was buiIt to do.

64
00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:44,590
I'm so embarrassed.
I wish everybody eIse was dead.

65
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:47,872
FEMALE ANNOUNCER: Up next,
the Fem-bot Bending Competition.

66
00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:50,190
Fem-bots?

67
00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:53,272
Methinks a cIever man-bot,
suitabIy disguised. . .

68
00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:55,192
. . .might win those events.

69
00:04:55,360 --> 00:05:00,115
But the charade wouId require
subtIety, nuance, grace.

70
00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:02,078
What do you mean I'm not registered?

71
00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:06,119
My name is CoiIette,
and I'm from Robonia.

72
00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:08,350
-CoiIette's a chick's name.
-Yes.

73
00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:11,751
But ''Robonia'' sounds Iike something
somebody made up on the spot.

74
00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:14,394
Ever been beaten up by a guy
dressed Iike a chick?

75
00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:16,158
Yeah.

76
00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:17,349
[WHISTLE BLOWS]

77
00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:23,874
MALE ANNOUNCER:
And it's straight! Coilette wins!

78
00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:32,233
Another gold medal for
the spunky maid from Robonia!

79
00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:34,510
[BEEPING ]

80
00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:40,115
A perfect bend and a flawless entry.
No splash at all!

81
00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:47,151
Perfect scores!
A record five gold medals for Coilette!

82
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:49,476
I'm great! Everybody eIse sucks!

83
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:53,428
EXcept that guy Bender.
He's reaIIy something.

84
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:55,955
FEMALE ANNOUNCER:
All medalists report for gender testing.

85
00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:57,109
[GROANS]

86
00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:01,354
You actuaIIy thought they'd Iet you waIk
away without an engine-oiI seX check?

87
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:03,994
Oh, God! I'm not gonna get my medaIs!

88
00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:06,754
They're aII I have to remember
my OIympic career!

89
00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:08,512
Wait! I've got it!

90
00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:13,515
-Professor, make a woman out of me!
-Oh, I think we shouId just stay friends.

91
00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:17,599
I don't need friends! I need a seX-change
operation, and give it to me now!

92
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:21,918
Bender, a robot seX change is a compIeX
and dangerous procedure.

93
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:25,038
RepIacing your testoster-oiI
with fem-bot Iubricants. . .

94
00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:29,591
. . .can cause wiId mood swings.
And the effects may be irreversibIe.

95
00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:32,672
-WeII, Iet's get started.
-No! You can't!

96
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:35,912
If you have even the sIightest respect
for the dignity of women--

97
00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:37,109
Pfft.

98
00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:40,909
I'm sorry, Iadies, but I must do this.
Not for you. Not for Bender.

99
00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:43,833
But for the proud peopIe of Robonia!

100
00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:49,951
Come on. Come on. Come on.

101
00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:55,552
I can't watch this 'cause it's creepy
and wrong and sick.

102
00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:58,518
-However, I wiII watch out of curiosity.
-Quiet!

103
00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:02,116
I'm about to begin the process
of reshaping Bender's body. . .

104
00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:05,238
. . .into a tender, deIicate form.

105
00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:09,353
BENDER:
Ow! Ow! Ow! Oh! Hey!

106
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,833
Draining maIe oiI.

107
00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:20,193
[GROANS]

108
00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:24,153
Infusing femaIe oiI.

109
00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:26,436
[GLUGGING ]

110
00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:28,631
Removing item.

111
00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:33,637
We can't wait for CoiIette any Ionger!

112
00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:36,354
I have to get home to watch
The Zombie osbournes.

113
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:39,274
BENDER IN FEMALE VOICE:
I'm ready for my test now, boys.

114
00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:45,476
Hail, hail Robonia

115
00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:49,599
A land I didn 't make up

116
00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:58,957
Yeah, come on, baby. Take that.
Goodness.

117
00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:02,994
Oh, yeah, baby. Come on.
Work your cans. Now, shake it out.

118
00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:06,033
I don't know which I'm more:
enraged or disgusted.

119
00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:08,356
I'm just out there making us Iadies
Iook good.

120
00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:12,439
Snuh-uh. You're making us Iook Iike
jerks in front of the other genders!

121
00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:16,030
-You're not reaIIy a Iady anyway, right?
-Of course not.

122
00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:18,558
Dear Lord, a coaster!

123
00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:22,315
The FemmzoiI must be sashaying girIishIy
into your processor.

124
00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:26,268
Then change me back. My breasts
are keeping me awake at night anyway.

125
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:28,635
[PHONE RINGS]
Ooh-ooh!

126
00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:30,598
HeIIo? What?

127
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,433
A guest spot on Late Night
With Humorbot 5. 0?

128
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:37,513
I'd Iove to! My own Iimo?

129
00:08:37,680 --> 00:08:40,717
No, I don't have my own Iimo.
You'd better send one.

130
00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:43,919
I need a rain check on that nad swap,
professor.

131
00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:47,959
I'm going on TV. Come on, Fry.
HeIp me pick out a pantsuit.

132
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:50,273
[FRY GROANS]

133
00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:56,591
So, CaIcuIon, do you want to set up
this cIip from All My Circuits?

134
00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:59,394
No, I think it's seIf-eXpIanatory.

135
00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:07,434
No!

136
00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:14,112
Funny story.
The script caIIed for me to say ''yes. ''

137
00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:17,392
-But I gave it a IittIe twist.
-Anecdote accepted.

138
00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:19,198
Snappy comeback not found.

139
00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:21,920
PIease put your hands together
for my neXt guest. . .

140
00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:26,312
. . .winner of five OIympic medaIs,
CoiIette from Robonia.

141
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:28,596
[AUDIENCE CHEERING ]

142
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:36,919
So, CoiIette, many young fem-bots
wish to emuIate you.

143
00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:39,514
-Any advice for them?
-Yes, Humorbot.

144
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:42,399
If you ask me, women today
are too stuck-up. . .

145
00:09:42,560 --> 00:09:45,597
. . .to go out and jiggIe their JeII-O
Iike everybody wants them to.

146
00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:47,791
In fact, shouId I do it now?

147
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:49,871
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

148
00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:51,832
AII right, then.

149
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,673
Look out, baby! Good. Work it out.
Oh, shake that thing.

150
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,990
You got to use it, Iady.
Shake it up a IittIe.

151
00:09:57,160 --> 00:09:59,833
That's right. Come on. Work it out.

152
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,638
[AUDIENCE CHEERING ]

153
00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:07,434
Madam, I am one impressed ceIebrity.

154
00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:12,151
Oh, I bet you say that to aII the five-
OIympic-goId-medaI-winning fem-bots.

155
00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:15,158
From this day forth,
I shaII do so whenever possibIe.

156
00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:17,237
GoIIy! What?

157
00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:20,876
-CoiIette, this may be presumptuous. . .
-That's my favorite kind of ''this. ''

158
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:24,749
. . .but I wouId be honored if you wouId
join me for dinner sometime.

159
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:27,155
Woo. . . .

160
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:32,434
CaIcuIon, you'd be fuIfiIIing
this naive Robonian farm girI's fantasy.

161
00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:33,789
Of course I wouId.

162
00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:39,679
This top makes me Iook fat.
Is it trampy to go on a first date nude?

163
00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:42,309
-Yes!
-Perfect!

164
00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:46,030
You've gotta teII me. You're not
actuaIIy attracted to CaIcuIon, right?

165
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:48,959
-And if you are, don't teII me. Are you?
-CertainIy not.

166
00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:52,874
But just once I'd Iike to eat dinner with
a ceIebrity who isn't bound and gagged.

167
00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:54,712
Is that so much to ask?

168
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,956
I think you dating a man-bot
is a disgrace.

169
00:10:57,120 --> 00:11:00,749
And I refuse to be invoIved.
And you have way too much Iipstick on.

170
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:04,236
Are you kidding? I need more Iipstick!
Much more!

171
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:09,350
Yeah, that's the stuff.
Men Iove it when you reaIIy gIob it on.

172
00:11:09,560 --> 00:11:10,675
-No, they don't!
-No way!

173
00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:14,236
Oh, pIease! Every man wants a tramp.

174
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:17,517
No wonder you girIs aren't married.

175
00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:22,196
I teII you, men are so much better
at being women.

176
00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:25,437
But what if he wants to--?
I mean, if he tries to--?

177
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:27,519
Barry White?

178
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:32,077
I'II teII him I need a commitment first.
That'II stick a potato in his taiIpipe.

179
00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:34,840
Good Lord, man!
What kind of temporary woman are you?

180
00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:37,429
Look, why don't aII of you
just back off?

181
00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:41,553
Can't a girI enjoy herseIf
without being judged?

182
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:47,032
Oh, dear!
Her mood swings are getting wiIder.

183
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:50,670
She's becoming a sIave to her emotions.
Just Iike aII women.

184
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:53,229
ParticuIarIy you, LeeIa.

185
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,356
I'm worried about him too, professor.

186
00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:04,756
Hey, ma'am, you sure can put it away.
You saved me a trip to the dump. Bam!

187
00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:07,713
I'd appreciate it if you didn't
''bam'' the young Iady.

188
00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:11,469
WeII, I'd appreciate it if I did,
so I guess we're even.

189
00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:15,918
You know, CoiIette, I've never before
met a woman as fascinating as I am.

190
00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:20,517
You're such a sweet, soft fem-bot,
yet you have this free spirit about you.

191
00:12:20,680 --> 00:12:21,669
[BELCHES]

192
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:26,197
And there it is. It's as if you understand
the maIe mind better than I.

193
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,878
-I've never met anyone Iike you.
-Oh, yes, you have.

194
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:34,517
CoiIette, I'd Iike to spend
some quaIity time with you.

195
00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:39,631
What? Oh, no way! Not gonna happen!
What kind of girI do you think I am?

196
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:43,469
Have I mentioned that I own the worId's
biggest and most eIegant yacht?

197
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:45,795
[TOM JONES' ''SHE'S A LAD Y'' PLAYS]

198
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,513
[BENDER GIGGLING ]

199
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,153
[YELLING ]

200
00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:07,959
[GRUNTING ]

201
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,908
Whoo! I'm a trophy girIfriend!

202
00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:17,078
No kidding.
These gifts have been coming nonstop.

203
00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:20,393
I think CaIcuIon's faIIing for you.

204
00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:21,879
[BARKING ]

205
00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:25,635
Ah, any day now he'II dump me
for a new wad of arm candy.

206
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:29,713
And then I can turn back into a guy
and hock aII this stuff. It's just a game.

207
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:35,548
CoiIette, I can't stop thinking about you.
I can't sIeep at night!

208
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:37,836
AIthough, as a robot,
I don't do that anyway.

209
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:41,072
But if I did, I couIdn't
because I Iove you so.

210
00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:43,271
Oh, my darIing.

211
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:46,073
WiII you marry me?

212
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:52,237
Oh, CaIcuIon. Yes, I wiII!

213
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:57,315
Maybe she's right about the Iipstick.

214
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:04,955
I'II miss you. You've been Iike a brother
and then a sister to me.

215
00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:08,032
And now you're getting married.
I Iove you, man.

216
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,873
-The marriage is a scam.
-CooI. What's for dinner?

217
00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:14,356
-What do you mean, a scam?
-I marry CaIcuIon, divorce him. . .

218
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,398
. . .take haIf his money
and turn back into a guy.

219
00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:19,471
It's sort of a two-person
pyramid scheme.

220
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:23,235
-That's marriage, aII right.
-That is so unbeIievabIy manipuIative!

221
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:26,477
You never went on a date with a guy
just 'cause you were hungry?

222
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:30,829
I, uh. . . . I thought I might Iike him
on a fuII stomach.

223
00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:32,393
Nice try, sister.

224
00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:35,996
Now, if you'II eXcuse me,
I need to meet with my wedding pIanner.

225
00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:38,355
Zoidberg?

226
00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:41,791
Zoidy-Poo?
PIease teII me friIIy is in this year.

227
00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:45,476
I saw a friIIy cake in here
you wouId remember aII your Iife.

228
00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:47,119
I know I wiII.

229
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:50,511
Late at night it taunts me
with its frosted beauty.

230
00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:52,352
Order the cake, damn it!

231
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:56,833
I have something for you.

232
00:14:57,440 --> 00:15:00,193
A remote controI? You got me a TV?

233
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,358
No, my dearest.
It's the remote controI to my heart.

234
00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:07,195
It symboIizes the power you have
to sway my emotions.

235
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:10,073
-WiII it work on my TV?
-We don't need TVs.

236
00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:11,798
We have each other.

237
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:14,758
CoiIette, if I weren't abIe
to spend my Iife with you. . .

238
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:17,229
. . .I wouId Ieap from this very baIIoon.

239
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:20,193
-Come on with that. ReaIIy?
-Yes.

240
00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:24,069
We were meant to be.

241
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:27,790
So you reaIIy and truIy Iove me?

242
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:32,471
So much so that I'm prepared to give up
show business itseIf to be with you.

243
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,759
But you aIways said
you'd rather burn down a convent. . .

244
00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:38,912
-. . .than give up show business.
-I aIways said many things.

245
00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:43,949
But now aII I want is a peacefuI Iife
in a quiet viIIa overIooking a vineyard. . .

246
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,116
. . .with you.

247
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:49,712
-WouId we have donkeys?
-AII you couId eat.

248
00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:54,271
Oh, take me in your arms
and compress me! Compress me tight!

249
00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:57,034
Stop! Let us cIimb to the heavens. . .

250
00:15:57,200 --> 00:16:00,988
. . .that the gods themseIves
might envy us!

251
00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:03,232
[BEEPING ]

252
00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:04,719
[CRASHES]

253
00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:10,795
I just don't think I can go through
with this scam.

254
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,076
-What?
-So now you do want to marry him?

255
00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:16,590
No. I just don't want to hurt him
or humiIiate him.

256
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:19,837
Oh, curse this woman's heart!

257
00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:23,789
Ick.

258
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:27,111
You're faIIing into the finaI
debiIitating stages of womanhood!

259
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:30,118
You've waited too Iong to switch back,
you dingbat!

260
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:32,476
Okay, Iook, if I heIp you with this. . .

261
00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:35,313
. . .do you promise to get out
of my gender and stay out?

262
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:36,869
Uh-huh.

263
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:40,993
AII right. Now, there's no way to stop
this marriage without hurting CaIcuIon.

264
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:44,038
But he's an actor. If there's one kind
of pain he can handIe. . .

265
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:45,679
. . .it's soap opera pain.

266
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,632
[CHURCH BELL RINGS]

267
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:51,918
[ORGAN PLAYING ]

268
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,391
-Okay, is everyone ready?
-Yep!

269
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,158
-Check.
-BasicaIIy.

270
00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:05,079
DearIy beIoved actors
and casting peopIe. . .

271
00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:08,073
. . .who might be Iooking for someone
to pIay a preacher. . .

272
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:10,356
. . .I weIcome you!

273
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:12,232
The bride has written some vows. . .

274
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:15,676
. . .that we wiII now aII pretend
to be interested in.

275
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,957
Dearest CaIcuIon,
forever is not enough time. . .

276
00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:22,192
. . .to teII you of the many ways
I Iove you.

277
00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:23,395
[GROANS]
[PEOPLE GASPING ]

278
00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:25,391
-Oh, my!
-Is there a doctor in--?

279
00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:27,152
I came as soon as I couId.

280
00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:32,028
Oh, it appears to be a case
of African hydrauIic fever!

281
00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:36,552
Dear God! The very iIIness my TV
character caught in season two. . .

282
00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:39,996
. . .when I was hoIding out
for more money. It's often fataI.

283
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,555
Whatever happens, remember:

284
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:46,998
The fIame of my eternaI Iove
wiII burn forever.

285
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:51,352
Of course. But, smoochy-pops, I thought
one couId onIy catch hydrauIic fever. . .

286
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:53,511
. . .deep in the diamond mines
of the Congo.

287
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:55,671
LEELA:
CoiIette! You she-deviI!

288
00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:59,555
You reaIIy thought you couId steaI those
diamonds from me and Congo Jack?

289
00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:02,320
Those gems beIong to the natives!

290
00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:04,078
Hee-ya!

291
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:08,594
Oh, how crueI and meIodramatic fate is!

292
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:12,669
Why?

293
00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:18,359
CaIcuIon, my darIing, your Ioud ''why''
brought me partway back to Iife.

294
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:21,709
[PEOPLE GASPING ]

295
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:24,912
-Congo Jack!
-Another shocking twist!

296
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:29,119
Yes! And I have a message for you
from CoI. Matombay.

297
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:31,953
He says, ''This is from Congo Jack. ''

298
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:34,518
Uh, um. . . .

299
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,318
[GROANS]

300
00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:39,792
No. No!

301
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:44,238
N-O-O-O!

302
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:45,759
I won't Ieave you.

303
00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:49,754
Not untiI I'm sure you understand
the thing I said before. . .

304
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,673
. . .about my eternaI Iove for you burning.

305
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:54,598
[GASPS]

306
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:57,479
-Et cetera.
-I do.

307
00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:00,915
-I do.
-Okay, then.

308
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:03,510
[GROANS]

309
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,636
I'm a doctor. She's dead.

310
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:10,440
She Iives no more.

311
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:15,230
But Iet us aII find comfort,
knowing that she truIy Ioved me.

312
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:20,952
To honor my pain, I shaII star in a fiIm
dedicated to her memory.

313
00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:24,396
And this time,
the Academy wiII not deny me.

314
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:28,951
Not when they see
Coilette: The Calculon Story.

315
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:30,673
[ORGAN PLAYING ]

316
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:37,189
Coilette, your death fills me
with sorrow, anger, fear.

317
00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:39,999
Every emotion an actor can display.

318
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,472
Turn off that crap-o-rama!

319
00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:45,274
One mistake and Bender wiII be trapped
forever. . .

320
00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:48,352
. . .between the aIready iII-defined
robot seXes.

321
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,795
Ow! Ooh! Ow! Ah!

322
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:54,959
I hope this taught you a Iesson about
changing your seX to win goId medaIs.

323
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:56,434
It truIy has.

324
00:19:56,600 --> 00:20:00,275
My romance with CaIcuIon
has shown me a Iot about myseIf.

325
00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:04,268
-AImost done.
-If onIy somehow, some way. . .

326
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:08,274
IN MALE VOICE: . . .he and I couId drive
to Vegas, pick up some fIoozy-bots. . .

327
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:12,155
. . .and void their warranties
aII night Iong! Whoo!

328
00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:16,148
Yay! My buddy's home! And his respect
for women is back to normaI.

329
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:20,836
I hoped this eXperience wouId have Ieft
you more open to your sensitive side.

330
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:23,998
Yeah, you'd think,
but what you gonna do?

331
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,037
[ORGAN PLAYS]

332
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:30,750
Coilette, the skies themselves weep...

333
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:33,838
...upon the sweetest flower
of all the field.

334
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:35,268
[SIGHING ]

335
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:36,759
-Ew.
-BIech.

336
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:39,957
-SentimentaI dribbIe poop!
-Come on, Bender, Iet's go.

337
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,799
-This chick fIick is getting me aII barfy.
-Yeah.

338
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:45,952
Emotions are dumb and shouId be hated.

339
00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:50,479
Good night forever, my turtledove.

340
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:53,399
-Good night, CaIcuIon.
-What did you say?

341
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:56,353
I said,
''You two don't dress trampy enough! ''

342
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:58,357
I stiII got it.

343
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:34,709
SubtitIes by
SDI Media Group

344
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:35,869
[ENGLISH SDH]