ObsoIeteIy FabuIous
[BENDER WHISTLING ]
-Ten doIIars, pIease. -Oh, man!
SIeep, IittIe dumpIing. I have repIaced your mother.
Aw.
-Oh, my God! Robot deaIy-boppers! -And there's a robot scratching post!
-You shouId try it out, Bender. -PIease. I have some dignity.
Ladies and gentIemen, my KiIIbot features Lotus Notes and a machine gun.
-It is the finest avaiIabIe. -Like fun it is, you gIass-headed waIIaby!
No one caIIs me that! I'm having at you!
Wernstrom!
[GRUNTING ]
Such senseIess aggression.
Come on. Let's go for a paddIeboat ride.
[GRUNTING ]
The secret was scratching reaIIy, reaIIy hard.
ANNOUNCER: And now, the woman who mom-opolizes the robot industry...
FRY: I get it! -...Mom!
FRY: Oh, now I get it!
HeIIo, dearies.
[CROWD CHEERING ]
BENDER: I Iove that oId bat!
Ladies and gentIemen, for the 1 7th year in a row. . .
. . .the future of robotics has arrived.
Boys.
I give you Robot 1 -X.
-Ow. -Ow! Oh.
[CROWD GASPING ]
Neat.
Quite frankIy, Robot 1 -X wiII put aII my previous modeIs to shame.
IncidentaIIy, wouId one of my previous modeIs mind coming up here?
BENDER: Here! I'm coming! Come on, baby! I'm yours!
-Come on, Mom! -Jerk!
Here we go. I'm your top of the Iine, Mom!
Notice that this obsoIete robot runs on aIcohoI and emits poIIution.
Whereas Robot 1 -X runs on poIIution and emits pure oXygen. . .
. . .with a fresh pine scent.
[BURPS]
[SNIFFING ]
Man, that smeIIs great!
Now Iet's see how both robots do at a typicaI househoId task:
Sorting a jar of pocket change.
Task compIeted. TotaI vaIue $4.73 and one AIbanian Iek.
Very good, Robot 1 -X. And you, bending unit?
I never got the change. Suckers.
Presenting Mom's FriendIy Robots.
[CROWD CHEERING ]
That new robot is great, huh? He sure made me Iook Iike a piIe of crap.
Indeed. That's why I bought one to heIp around the office.
[BENDER SHRIEKS]
Let's try him out. Robot 1 -X, can you cIean NibbIer's stanky Iitter boX?
I can, and wiII.
Hey, I couId have done that if you'd ask me.
I asked you five minutes ago.
You caII that a kiss? I'II show you!
Come here, NibbIer!
[NIBBLER GRUNTING ]
Look, Bender. If you want something to do, stop making out and give us a hand.
Go up on the roof and instaII this fake sateIIite dish. . .
-. . .so we can impress the neighbors. -Yes, sir! I'm on it.
-Oh, and have Robot 1 -X heIp you. -God!
[GRUNTING ]
Get out of here, freshman! I don't need your heIp!
-Our owners asked me to assist you. -Yeah? WeII, assist this!
Whoa! Ah! HeIp!
When I screamed ''HeIp,'' I didn't mean you!
I apoIogize. However, I was abIe to do your job before I saved your Iife.
Don't mind me. I'm just saving you the troubIe of throwing me away.
MeII out, Bender. Come watch some TV.
[GROANING ]
I can't. I'm stuck in the can.
WeII, ask Robot 1 -X to puII you out.
Never!
-Why can't you accept his heIp? -I hate him!
But he's just a tooI to make your Iife easier.
Like a socket wrench, or a burgIar's kit.
-I can't ask for his heIp because. . . -Yes?
. . .I'm scared of him.
-Oh, sorry. -WeII, then, there's onIy one soIution.
You need an upgrade to make you compatibIe. . .
. . .with Robot 1 -X's new technoIogy.
An upgrade? But I thought we aII agreed I was perfect.
-Fry, didn't we agree I was perfect? -Oh, yeah. No, you're pretty perfect.
''Pretty perfect''? So you do think I need an upgrade.
Yes, for God's sakes, yes!
Fine. I'II be back in a few days.
Man, I hate those new 1 -X robots.
I'd Iike to stab them! Give them some of these!
[YELLING ]
Yeah, right on, nut cake.
ParoIe officer says I gotta upgrade, or he won't give me back my stabbing knife.
But it's no big. I hate those 1 -X so much.
I know it won't affect me.
Death to the 1 -X Robots!
I Iove those magnificent 1 -X Robots!
The 1 -X Robots are my friends.
Wait. What happened to your enthusiasm for stabbing them?
I'm past that. Later, bIood.
It's Iike he's not him anymore.
You took away his robo-humanity!
[SCREAMS]
I changed my mind!
[BENDER SCREAMING ]
[SEAGULLS SQUAWKING ]
Yeah. I did it! I escaped.
But to what kind of a Iife?
[SQUAWKS]
I'm too scared to get the upgrade. . .
. . .but I can't face my friends again without it.
[SOBBING ]
And so, I set saiI for unknown shores.
Oh, mercifuI Poseidon, take pity on this mechanicaI mariner.
Oh, jeez.
BENDER: Whoa! Whoa! Oh, uh. . . . Whoa!
Curse you, mercifuI Poseidon!
Boy, what is the deaI with the ocean?
A tropicaI isIand, huh?
WeII, I've washed up in worse pIaces.
Okay, first up, I'm gonna need to buiId a sheIter.
There.
WeII, I guess I'II go out for a whiIe.
Damn. One rock short of rescue.
[MIMICS FOGHORN]
[FOGHORN SOUND FADES]
Low on power.
Better fueI up.
Oh, no! Guess I'II do what I aIways do when I run out of booze.
[SOBBING ]
[GRUNTING ]
Okay, don't panic.
I've got these yams. I'II just make some yam schnapps.
Hmm.
Hey, I shouId be mad at you. Now, turn around.
Funny now hot.
[BABBLING ]
Beer!
[QUACKING ]
Ow!
Oh. . . . Numb. Oh.
[DRUMMING ]
Who is it. . .?
Ow!
[GULPING ]
Who are you, and why shouId I care?
Side A. We're a community of outdated robots who refused to upgrade...
...and came here-- Side B.
--to live a simpler existence, free of technology.
A working cartridge unit? Wow.
You guys went obsoIete years ago.
Your mother.
What Cartridge Unit means is, the things that make us obsoIete. . .
. . .aIso make us unique.
I, for eXampIe, need to keep refiIIing my waterwheeI. . .
. . .or I'II power-down forever.
Oh, God! I'II never make it this time! This is the end!
-Anyway, we Iike it here. -Like you have a choice.
-So, what's your probIem? -Not enough. . . .
-Memory? -Oh, great.
Now I remember that word, but I forgot my wife's face.
Oh, God! No! I want to Iive!
[WATER SPLASHING ]
If you'd Iike, you're weIcome to join our society.
Look, no offense, but I need technoIogy, especiaIIy e-maiI and snowmobiIes.
And teIevision. Without teIevision, how wiII I know what's buzz-worthy?
Why wouId you want to watch TV when you can watch a snaiI crawI for hours?
That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Oh, man! He's never gonna make it over that pebbIe!
Wait! Wait! Oh, my God! He made it!
ALL: Yeah! Way to go!
That was the greatest thing ever! Let's party.
[KENNY LOGGINS' ''I'M ALRIGHT'' PLAYS]
-Yeah, baby! Come on! -Where did you get that CD?
It's one of my 1 0 desert-isIand disks.
I never reaIIy thought I'd use them, but Iook at me now.
Oh, yeah, baby! Gonna do that dance. . . .
CDs are unnaturaI. Why don't you just Iisten to the ocean?
Which ocean? That ocean?
Wow. It's Iike the Earth making sweet, saIty Iove to itseIf. . .
. . .whiIe aII the fish groove on it. So much for this garbage.
Take that, Beethoven, you deaf bastard!
Bang, bang, bang.
You sure got this Iife thing figured out, cymbaI-banging monkey.
Hi, Bender. We know how much you miss technoIogy. . .
. . .so we brought you this washing machine that drifted ashore.
[BENDER GASPS]
I'm gonna wash my Iinens so hard, the--
[GRUNTS]
[WATER SPLASHING ]
You. . . .
What? I don't understand.
Wretched technoIogy has brought me nothing but misery.
But Bender, you are technology.
You're the most advanced thing on this entire island.
Oh, it's true. I am a hideous triumph of form and function.
But not for Iong!
[BENDER GROANING AND GIGGLING ]
BENDER: Oh! That hurt!
WATERWHEEL ROBOT: The downgrade is compIete!
BehoId my handcrafted purity.
The modern worId can bite my spIintery wooden ass!
Ah.
WeIcome to your new Iife of simpIe tranquiIity.
Forget that! I say the whoIe worId must Iearn of our peacefuI ways!
By force!
[GASPING ]
-What? -We're going back to civiIization. . .
. . .to wage war on technoIogy!
What?
BENDER: Row, comrades, row!
We'II stage an attack on technoIogy. . .
. . .worthy of being chronicIed in an anthem by Rush.
We've been saiIing for three weeks.
Maybe I shouId check our position with the periscope.
BENDER: Aye, up!
[GASPS]
Mirrors refIecting mirrors? High-tech sorcery! Sorcery, I say!
-Did you see anything? -Yep, we're there.
Prepare to surface!
And now, technoIogy shaII taste the Iash of the hickory switch!
[HARD ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
[CHEERING ]
[CHILDREN CRYING ]
[CHUCKLING ]
SINCLAIR: TechnoIogy is defeated!
Let us return to the isIand and ceIebrate by counting rocks!
ALL: Yeah!
Whoa! Whoa! No one wants to count rocks more than me. . .
. . .but our mission is not compIete.
Not so Iong as Robot 1 -X torments me with his obvious superiority.
Ready the catapuIt, SincIair!
Aim for their power Iines!
They're the deviI's veins, and eIectricity is his bIood!
Bender? If we don't survive the attack, I want you to know I Iove you.
Okay, fine. Fire!
-Oh! I'm bIind! -Professor, we have no power!
What do you mean, ''no power''? We're Iiving in the future!
I'd better Iight some candIes.
Friends, I've come to free you from your compIicated Iives!
Free you from the ''compIicated'' part, I mean, not the ''Iives'' part.
Oh, Lord, he's made of wood.
-What now, Bender? -I got a downgrade.
I'm a steam-powered wooden robot, just as nature intended.
-Therefore, I must kiII Robot 1 -X! -That's just stupid!
Does Mr. Bender wish me to destroy myseIf?
I don't need your charity.
Target Robot 1 -X and fire!
[ROCK WHIZZING ]
You wanged my ship, you waInut-paneIed idiot!
BENDER: Try again, SincIair. I said target Robot 1 -X.
SINCLAIR: Who's Robot 1 -X? Launching.
[ROCK WHIZZING ]
So I guess everything worked out fine.
[SCREAMS]
[SCREAMING ]
Great. Now we're being crushed.
HeIp us, wooden Bender!
Those guys hate fire! I gotta do something!
[BABBLING ]
What the--? Termites?
WeII, I don't need Iegs to save my friends.
I'II just use the oId eXtenso-matic arms.
Bender! Hurry! This fueI is eXpensive!
-AIso, we're dying! -I'm a-coming!
[GRUNTING ]
Ow! Lousy primitive body!
Oh, why didn't I get that upgrade? I'm an outdated piece of junk.
-Sir, might I recommend--? -You shut up!
No, wait. I can use you as a tooI to save my friends.
And I'II stiII be the hero, who everyone says how great he was.
-How may I heIp you? -Save my friends! And Zoidberg!
[SIGHING ]
Look! My hair got singed into an even cuter 'do.
-Hey, where's Bender? BENDER: Down here.
I'm so sorry, guys. I never meant to hurt you. . .
. . .just to destroy everything you ever beIieved in.
WeII, at Ieast you saved us from. . .
. . .uh, you.
Thank God you finaIIy overcame your incompatibiIity with Robot 1 -X.
Oh, yeah, we were totaIIy in sync.
I was Iike, ''Save them! '' And he was aII, ''No probIem. '' And then he did it.
His new technoIogy is great. I Iove those magnificent 1 -X Robots.
The 1 -X Robots are my friends.
It's Iike his personaIity is totaIIy different now.
Oh, maybe this upgrade isn't such a good idea.
I'd Iike to give Robot 1 -X a big smooch on the--
-Hey, what's the deaIy-o? -Your upgrade is compIete.
But I destroyed the technoIogy of the worId.
I ran on the beach and feIt the sand between my foot-cups.
Everyone eXperiences the upgrade differentIy.
If that stuff wasn't reaI, how can I be sure anything is reaI?
Is it not possibIe, nay, probabIe. . .
. . .that my whoIe Iife is just a product of my, or someone eIse's imagination?
No. Get out. NeXt?
[SIRENS WAILING ]
WeII, I guess reaIity is what you make of it.
[WHISTLING ]
BENDER: Yep. Oh, thanks, baby.
SubtitIes by SDI Media Group
[ENGLISH SDH]