1
00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:08,913
Bender ShouId Not Be AIIowed on TV

2
00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:10,069
FARNSWORTH:
Oh, my.

3
00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:15,189
BENDER: Here we go, y'aII!
ZOIDBERG: Zoidberg, Zoidberg. Zoidberg.

4
00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:22,355
BENDER:
This is a story about aII my friends.

5
00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:25,751
FARNSWORTH:
Goodbye. Goodbye.

6
00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:33,189
ANNOUNCER:
Previously on AII My Circuits:

7
00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:38,475
I'm sorry, Father. But somewhere aIong
the way, I forgot how to be your son.

8
00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:43,760
-Why, Antonio?
-Because. . . . I have amnesia!

9
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:46,110
[MOANING ]

10
00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:51,599
-CaIcuIon! But I thought you were--
-Egyptian?

11
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,593
Before I kiII you,
I must ask you one question:

12
00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:55,749
Who am I?

13
00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:59,390
For I have. . . . Amnesia!

14
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:04,190
Let me get this straight.
Does anyone here not have amnesia?

15
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,796
MONIQUE: Not sure.
-I don't know.

16
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:12,715
This show is awesome! When I grow
up, I'm gonna have so much amnesia.

17
00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:15,713
Me too! I mean, I have it now.
But I forgot.

18
00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:20,192
-WeII, mine's Iouder!
-Cram a ham in it, you twerps!

19
00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:22,794
-Sorry.
-I had it coming.

20
00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:28,799
Welcome, swingers!
Pull up a groove and get fabulous!

21
00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:32,748
Nude rock bands, big piIes of what
I assume is taIcum powder.

22
00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:35,070
It's quite a birthday party, CaIcuIon.

23
00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:38,949
CooI! I'm gonna have a fabuIatious
birthday party just Iike CaIcuIon!

24
00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:42,874
Oh, yeah? WeII, I'm gonna show up
Iooking good just Iike Monique.

25
00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:45,873
Do you two have to imitate everything
you see on TV?

26
00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:48,674
We're 1 2. So, yes.

27
00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:51,070
HoId up, Cubert.
You're a cIone of the professor.

28
00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:53,196
Do cIones even have birthdays?

29
00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:54,952
Duh.

30
00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:57,635
Duh what?

31
00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:00,637
[GRUNTING ]

32
00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:04,555
Dad? Do I have a birthday?

33
00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:08,594
Hmm. You didn't have a birth,
so technicaIIy, no.

34
00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,917
-Hmm.
FARNSWORTH: Oh, don't feeI bad.

35
00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:15,550
We can ceIebrate the day
I eXtracted you from the cIoning tank.

36
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:19,872
Or the day I scraped your DNA
from that growth on my back.

37
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:21,917
-That one!
-Yes.

38
00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:27,200
It was 1 3 years ago neXt week.
I used this very fork.

39
00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:29,715
Oh, weII, isn't that--

40
00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:32,269
Hey. NeXt week'II be my birthday too!

41
00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:35,830
That's true! If onIy there were a way
to have one party for both of you. . .

42
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,958
. . .here at the office, then write it
off as a business eXpense.

43
00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:41,714
Wait! I thought of a way!
The way I just said!

44
00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:43,836
-Yeah!
-Way to go, Pops!

45
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,719
BENDER:
Something's happening on teIevision!

46
00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:48,638
[GASPING ]

47
00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:55,070
oh, Monique. Why did we wait
so many years to bathe in champagne?

48
00:02:57,920 --> 00:03:00,480
[SCREAMS]

49
00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:04,908
Father! I've discovered
the shocking secret...

50
00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:07,310
...Mother has kept from you
for 200 years!

51
00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:08,913
No! No!

52
00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:11,548
Brace yourself,
for when I speak these words...

53
00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:15,395
... you may well suffer
an attack of explosive amnesia!

54
00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:20,429
For you see, the horrible secret is--

55
00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:22,312
[GROANING ]

56
00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:29,152
Whoever's directing this is
a master of suspense!

57
00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:40,271
He's busteds.
Let's get hims out of heres.

58
00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:47,118
ANNOUNCER: We now join America 's
most popular show in progress:

59
00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:50,829
Everybody Loves Hypno-Toad!

60
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:52,956
[BUZZING ]

61
00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:56,879
This show's been going downhiII
since season three.

62
00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:07,232
Look who's here, everyone!
It's Zoidberg, the IovabIe tramp!

63
00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:11,079
Since when are you
performing at chiIdren's parties?

64
00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:17,315
Performing? What? PIease, if someone
couId spare me money to buy shoes?

65
00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:18,754
-This party pukes.
-Yeah!

66
00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:21,593
The guests were supposed
to be here three hours ago.

67
00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:26,072
WeII, that doesn't mean that no one is
coming or that you two are totaI Iosers.

68
00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:27,275
Who gave you that idea?

69
00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:28,429
[DOORBELL RINGS]

70
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:30,909
AII right! They must've aII come
as a group!

71
00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:37,076
WeIcome, swingers!
PuII up a groove and get fabuIous!

72
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,028
Huh?

73
00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:43,909
Good day, feIIows. Someone dumped
this invitation in my begging cup.

74
00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:46,196
Happy growth-scraping day to aII!

75
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,197
[SIGHING ]

76
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:50,920
--fire them aII.

77
00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:58,439
Guys. Guys. Something's
happening on teIevision again!

78
00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:08,832
Welcome to Entertainment
and Earth Invasion Tonite.

79
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:13,198
Across the galaxy my people
are completing a mighty space fleet...

80
00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:18,070
... that will exterminate the human race!
But first, this news from Tinsel Town.

81
00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:21,073
Following Antonio Calculon Jr. 's
breakdown on the set...

82
00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:25,119
... the popular TV show AII My Circuits
will hold an open casting call...

83
00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:27,191
...for child robots to replace him.

84
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:29,715
An open casting caII for chiId robots?

85
00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:31,950
Tinny Tim! Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

86
00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:35,476
-What's that, sir?
-That I, Bender, am perfect for the roIe!

87
00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:39,918
You raised my hopes and dashed them
quite eXpertIy, sir. Bravo!

88
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:47,473
[SQUEAKING ]

89
00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:50,837
Bender, your swarthy Latin charm
wiII onIy get you so far.

90
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,389
There's a Iot of famous
chiId acting units here.

91
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:55,471
Look, there's MacauIay CuIkon!

92
00:05:56,680 --> 00:06:00,070
He's just not cute
since he got puberty instaIIed.

93
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:03,755
There's that robot chiId actor who grew
up and robbed the convenience store.

94
00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:05,990
And there's that robot chiId actor
who grew up. . .

95
00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:08,515
. . .and became a convenience store.

96
00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:11,353
Lottery ticket, pIease.

97
00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:17,312
We're ready for the first audition.
''Emote-atron Jr. ''?

98
00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:20,995
HoId on, precious. Let's make you
Iook nice for the Iady.

99
00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:23,276
What's this? What did I teII you?

100
00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:26,273
No. . .more. . .hanging. . .wires!

101
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:29,353
In this scene, you've just found out
your reaI father. . .

102
00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:34,116
. . .is CaIcuIon's fourth eviI identicaI
septupIet, SIeazy Martinez.

103
00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:36,635
Okay? Take us there!

104
00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:40,236
Now that I know the truth, Father,
I must ride south. . .

105
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,233
. . .and join the robo-bandidos
at Veracruz!

106
00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:48,155
BENDER: Boo! Boo! This kid sucks!
We want Bender! Boo!

107
00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:52,472
WeII, I thought he was good, but the
audience seems to have turned on him.

108
00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:54,119
-But I don't think--
-NeXt!

109
00:06:56,080 --> 00:07:00,198
--at Veracruz. So if you'II kindIy
hand me my poncho--

110
00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:03,909
BENDER: Boo! Bring on Bender!
Boo! Bender's the greatest!

111
00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,196
Sorry, kid. You're fIaiIing up there.

112
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,072
[SCREAMS]

113
00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:13,150
Ninety actors and they aII got booed.

114
00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:16,232
I just wish we couId get this
Bender I keep hearing about.

115
00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:18,072
They say he's the greatest.

116
00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:21,789
WeII, there is a robot named Bender
here, but he's much too oId for--

117
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,393
Send him in forthwith!

118
00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:26,279
Boo! Not as good as Bender! Boo!

119
00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:27,429
Mr. Bender?

120
00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:28,589
[GASPING ]

121
00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:32,355
-Have you ever been on TV before?
-Once, when I took those hostages.

122
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:36,115
I saw that. You were good.
Let's hear you audition.

123
00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:39,714
''Bandidos''? Oh, this is great.

124
00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:44,590
Because I happen to have
a fIawIess Spanish accent.

125
00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:50,869
I wiII see. Adiós, Padre. Come, Jesus,
my faithfuI chihuahua.

126
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:55,875
Tonight we eat
guacamoIe by the EI Rio!

127
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,838
That was so terribIe
I think you gave me cancer!

128
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:03,118
I don't care how popuIar you are,
you wiII never work on my show!

129
00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:06,158
FRY: Yay, Bender!
LEELA: We demand Bender!

130
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:09,915
However, you've got the job.
WeIcome aboard, son!

131
00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:12,640
Father-O!

132
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:25,638
I'd Iike you to meet our director,
whose name I never Iearned.

133
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:29,429
Yo. I read the script, and I think it
wouId heIp my character's motivation. . .

134
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:32,512
-. . .if he was on fire.
-Don't worry about the script, baby.

135
00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:35,069
We rewrote your part to
suit your acting abiIities.

136
00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:38,596
So now my character
has a British accent?

137
00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:42,275
No, now your character's in a coma.
Get in bed and don't move.

138
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,516
[MUMBLING ]

139
00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:46,599
And action!

140
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,593
Stupid dumb coma.
I couId've been British.

141
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:55,630
AIas that mine onIy son shouId sink
into an irreversibIe, permanent. . .

142
00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:57,475
. . .coma.

143
00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:01,553
Permanent? That's compIeteIy out of
character for Antonio. I'm getting up.

144
00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:04,314
Curse the tragic
wiIdebeest accident that--

145
00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:08,075
Hey, everyone! Antonio here,
but you can caII me Bender!

146
00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:12,199
I got ants in my butt and I needs
to strut! Come on, baby!

147
00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:14,271
[HUMMING ]

148
00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:17,910
Come on!

149
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:22,191
I'm not famiIiar with the
type of thing I'm seeing.

150
00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,874
Bite my shiny metaI ass! Yeah!

151
00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:27,554
Come on, baby, yeah.
Come on, yeah!

152
00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:31,952
Cut! That's the worst coma acting I've
ever seen. We'II have to shoot it again.

153
00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:35,032
No. No, no, no.
I don't do two takes.

154
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:38,510
-But this guy was--
-Amateurs Iike you do two takes.

155
00:09:38,680 --> 00:09:42,753
I do one take.
Print it. I'II be in my three-story traiIer.

156
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:49,717
Bite my shiny metal ass! Yeah!
Come on, baby, yeah! Come on, yeah!

157
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,838
Now, that's hospitaI dancing!
Pretty good, hey, CaIcy?

158
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:57,039
Good? I've seen better acting
from eXtras in Godzilla movies.

159
00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:58,229
[WHISTLING ]

160
00:09:58,400 --> 00:09:59,913
CALCULON:
I didn't shoot this.

161
00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:03,117
We didn't. That's security camera
footage from your dressing room.

162
00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:06,078
He stoIe the scene and my money?
That's it!

163
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:08,708
I demand you fire this feIonious ham!

164
00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:10,757
[SIREN WAILING ]

165
00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:14,276
-The network eXecu-bots are coming!
-Oh, dear God!

166
00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:23,155
Presenting the president of the network!

167
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:27,590
[MODEM BUZZING ]

168
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:30,593
PRESIDENT: Greetings, gentlemen.
You already know my execu-bots.

169
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:33,593
Executive Alpha, programmed to like
things it has seen before.

170
00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:35,432
-Hey, hey, hey.
-Executive Beta.

171
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:38,956
Programmed to roll dice
to determine the fall schedule.

172
00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:40,879
More reaIity shows!

173
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:44,715
And Executive Gamma, programmed
to underestimate Middle America.

174
00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:47,758
It's funny, but is it going to get
them off their tractors?

175
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:51,276
Now, who put this obnoxious
dancing robot on my network?

176
00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:53,749
-We were about to fire him, sir.
-Silence, hack!

177
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,514
We've been monitoring our
Nielsen families carefully.

178
00:10:56,680 --> 00:11:00,389
And during the 1 2 seconds Bender
was on-screen, viewer eyeball focus...

179
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,915
... was up 90 percent!

180
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:04,308
[PANTING ]

181
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:07,034
But, sir, chiIdren watch this show.

182
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,760
Bender's no roIe modeI.
He's a fiIthmonger.

183
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:11,876
At our network, we love filth.

184
00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:15,919
Filthy rich, that is.
Being filthy rich, that is.

185
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:18,071
[PRESIDENT LAUGHING ]

186
00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:23,070
[LAUGHING ]

187
00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:26,312
''Bite my shiny metal ass''
could be a catchphrase.

188
00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:29,358
-Eighty percent IikeIy.
-It wiII pIay in Peoria.

189
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:30,953
BETA:
Game shows are back!

190
00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:34,476
We need this edgy, sweeps-ready
robot on our network!

191
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:38,713
Bender, can you continue to drink,
smoke and steal things on TV?

192
00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:40,757
Yes, I can.

193
00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:43,388
[BAND PLAYS ''WE'RE GONNA
HAVE A TV PARTY TONIGHT'']

194
00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:02,199
TINY TIM-BOT: Yeah, shooting!
DWIGHT: AII right!

195
00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:10,912
[LAUGHING ]

196
00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:14,034
Yo. Check out what
I jacked from my dad.

197
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,191
-A cigar?!
-Ripping!

198
00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:22,036
Look. I'm Bender!

199
00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:28,078
Ras H. Tafari!
What's going on here?

200
00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:33,476
-The ruffians smoked one of your cigars.
-That's not a cigar!

201
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:38,031
-And it's not mine.
-Hey, Dad. Bite my shiny metaI ass!

202
00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:41,670
What? Such an act wouId be most
uncomfortabIe for both of us!

203
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:46,152
-Where did you Iearn such Ianguage?
-From Bender, my good jerkwad.

204
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:50,518
Bender? That guy's reaIIy
starting to twist my dreads.

205
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:56,519
-Okay, okay! Get ready for this part!
-Quiet, robot. Bender's on TV.

206
00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:00,517
oh, Calculon. It's so good
to get away from the city...

207
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:02,910
...and that beastly yet intriguing Bender.

208
00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:04,109
[GASPS]

209
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,111
And try this, kids at home!

210
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:15,838
Is television sensation Bender
a bad role model for Earth 's children?

211
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:17,918
That's crazy.

212
00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:22,392
A new protest group, Fathers Against
Rude Television, says ''Hell, yes!''

213
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:25,832
What kind of bozos wouId start
a Bender protest group?

214
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:31,155
Good news, everyone! Hermes and
I have started a Bender protest group!

215
00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:32,435
That was uncanny.

216
00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:35,876
Fathers Against Rude TeIevision don't
want our kids watching Bender's. . .

217
00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:38,554
-. . .high-definition fiIth!
-And for what?

218
00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:43,271
Some kind of cheap Iaugh?
That's not what F.A.R.T. is aII about.

219
00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:45,510
No, sir! Not us F.A.R.T.ers!

220
00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:49,878
You can't censor me just because
I'm an obsceneIy bad roIe modeI.

221
00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:52,918
As uncIean as it makes me feeI,
I agree with Bender.

222
00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:55,389
Kids don't turn rotten
just from watching TV.

223
00:13:55,560 --> 00:13:58,472
Yeah. Give a IittIe credit
to our pubIic schooIs.

224
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:07,070
Our dads are aII pumped up
on dork-osterone.

225
00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:11,233
-We're just trying to be cooI, Iike Bender.
-Yeah. And it's not even working.

226
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:14,312
-Smoking and drinking make us barf.
-GentIe jerkwads. . .

227
00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:18,393
. . .I know how to emuIate Bender without
barfing. We couId commit a burgIary.

228
00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:20,949
-Hey, yeah!
-Bender Ioves to burgIe!

229
00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:24,635
HoId up, though. Who couId we rob?
We don't know anyone with cooI stuff.

230
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:29,351
Duh. We know someone who runs
on pure cooI fueI: Bender!

231
00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:32,393
-Whoa!
-We'II rob Bender!

232
00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:35,074
TV gave us the idea!

233
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:36,798
BENDER:
You're watching Futurama...

234
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:41,078
... the show that does not advocate
the cool crime of robbery.

235
00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:53,674
Okay. It's crime time.

236
00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:04,235
Hey, Bender.

237
00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:06,516
Hey, Bender.

238
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:08,069
Hey, Bender.

239
00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:10,793
[PHONE RINGS]

240
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,155
Hey, Bender.

241
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,078
[''BUSTED'' PLAYS]

242
00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:35,552
-Oh!
-What's going on in here?

243
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:36,795
[MUSIC STOPS]

244
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:40,078
Oh. Now I'm reaIIy outraged!

245
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:44,028
Where did you requisition this party?
And Zoidberg, what are you doing here?

246
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:47,237
I'm networking.
Let me give you my card.

247
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:50,517
ReIaX, Dad.
We just invited a few friends over.

248
00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:56,198
There's something wrong with your
story, but I can't put my finger on it.

249
00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:58,874
Of course! You don't have friends!

250
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:02,635
Yeah! Why do these popuIar kids
consider you cooI aII of a sudden?

251
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,559
-We're just cooI, is aII.
-BaIderdash!

252
00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:09,508
I'II be the judge of who's cooI,
using the CooI-o-meter!

253
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:11,915
[BEEPING ]

254
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:23,397
COOL-O-METER:
oh, yeah!

255
00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:27,519
Good Lord! I'm getting a reading of
over 40 mega-Fonzies.

256
00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:29,716
-Everybody out!
ALL: Aw. . . .

257
00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:34,398
So do you guys know about
anything eIse going on?

258
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:38,439
Because I'm totaIIy stiII ready to party.

259
00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:41,399
There's enough cooI stuff here
to furnish a happening pad.

260
00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:42,959
Where did it aII come from?

261
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:47,079
Don't teII, comrades!
AII for one and one for aII!

262
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,879
-We stoIe it!
-Oh, crumb.

263
00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:53,312
[YAWNS]

264
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,358
-What? What's going on?
-I'II teII you what!

265
00:16:56,520 --> 00:17:00,911
Our boys have taken up steaIing.
One of the worst and cooIest of crimes.

266
00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:03,958
And aII from watching you on TV,
you cooI jerk!

267
00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:05,235
Hey, Iay off me!

268
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:08,710
TV wouId stink if everyone on it
was a positive roIe modeI.

269
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:12,395
Bender is about entertainment, baby!
You can't hoId me responsibIe. . .

270
00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:16,235
. . .for what kids do when--
Hey. This is my stuff they stoIe!

271
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:20,234
That's the Iast straw! Bender
shouId not be aIIowed on teIevision!

272
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:21,549
[CROWD MUMBLING ]

273
00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:23,711
Bender must be stopped!

274
00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:26,917
I've gone too far!
Who does that guy think I am?

275
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,718
-Yeah!
-That's right!

276
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,792
Come on! We're gonna march
aII the way to HoIIywood. . .

277
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:35,475
. . .and make them stop forcing
their fiIthy me down our throats!

278
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:38,108
CROWD:
Yeah!

279
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:57,712
ALL:
Down with Bender! Down with Bender!

280
00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:01,111
Down with Bender! Down with Bender!

281
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,236
-This mob's with me.
-Go ahead.

282
00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:07,430
Down with Bender! Down with Bender!

283
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:10,637
Down with Bender! Down with--

284
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:15,788
--Bender! Down with Bender!

285
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:19,475
As a doctor and captain
of this hospitaI ship. . .

286
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:24,270
. . .I now pronounce you man and wife
with siX months to Iive.

287
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:28,676
Listen up, HoIIywood!
We're an eXciting new mob!

288
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:30,637
ALL: Yeah!
HERMES: You better beIieve it.

289
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:31,949
Great Shatner's ghost!

290
00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:35,351
We demand that aII TVs be equipped
with a B-Chip. . .

291
00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:37,875
. . .that bIocks Bender
from appearing on the screen!

292
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:39,189
-Boo-ya!
ALL: Yeah.

293
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:44,910
PRESIDENT: I'm afraid the answer
is a gritty, in-your-face no.

294
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:47,389
-Then I quit!
-Then you don 't quit.

295
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:53,119
I think you'll be finishing
the scene now, Mr. Bender.

296
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:55,191
And don 't skimp on the nasty.

297
00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:57,191
There'II be no further nasty!

298
00:18:57,360 --> 00:19:00,557
We stiII have the option
of resorting to vioIence!

299
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:03,439
-What makes you think that'II work?
-I saw it on TV. . .

300
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:07,752
. . .in that episode where Bender
shot CaIcuIon. How cooI was that?

301
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,837
Yeah! Come on!

302
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,673
-Quit the show!
-Do the scene.

303
00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:14,637
I'm a coId-bIooded punk!

304
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:18,190
I once put a laugh track
on a sitcom that had no jokes in it.

305
00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:21,636
-Hey, Iook! The prop guy has a Iamp!
-Really?

306
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:24,553
-Aha!
-I was using that!

307
00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:27,154
Listen up, because I've got
a cIimactic speech.

308
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,629
You, cameraman,
keep the camera roIIing!

309
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:32,712
-You, director! Give me my motivation!
-You're angry.

310
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:37,317
Perfect! Viewers of the worId,
do smoking and drinking on TV. . .

311
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:40,711
. . .reaIIy make me cooI?
Of course they do!

312
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:44,998
How about committing crimes and
vioIence? Again, the answer is yes.

313
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:49,159
But do we reaIIy want our kids
eXposed to that kind of trash on TV?

314
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:52,551
-I say absoIuteIy not!
-Oh!

315
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:54,552
[CLEARS THROAT]

316
00:19:54,840 --> 00:20:00,073
On the other hand, most, perhaps aII,
the bIame rests with the parents.

317
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:03,232
That's right, you!

318
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:06,677
And so I ask you this one question:

319
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:10,719
Have you ever tried simpIy
turning off the TV. . .

320
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,711
. . .sitting down with your chiIdren. . .

321
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:14,154
. . .and hitting them?

322
00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:17,392
-We're just so busy.
-WeII, make time.

323
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:18,834
And cut!

324
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:24,076
Good enough. SpIice in some reaction
shots of me and shove it on the air.

325
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:29,956
Have you ever tried simply
turning off the TV...

326
00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:32,031
...sitting down with your children...

327
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:33,394
...and hitting them?

328
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:38,674
WeII, I'd say we aII Iearned
a vaIuabIe Iesson about TV there.

329
00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:39,829
What was it?

330
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:43,834
That we shouId aII take TV
a IittIe Iess seriousIy.

331
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,992
And more importantIy,
turn it off once in a whiIe.

332
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:48,878
-Hear, hear!
-Darn right!

333
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:50,837
So shouId we turn it off now?

334
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:54,993
-WeII. . . . That depends what's on.
MAN: one now....

335
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:59,472
-Nothing good.
-Let's just keep watching.

336
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:01,438
[BUZZING ]

337
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,831
[CAST SINGS AND SHOUTS]

338
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:37,789
SubtitIes by
SDI Media Group

339
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:38,836
[ENGLISH SDH]