{1}{65}25.000 {65}{121}Futurama is brought to you by... {133}{249}...Arachno Spores,|the fatal spore With the funny name. {383}{435}Lesser of Two Evils {940}{986}Cop Department is real. {992}{1039}The people are not actors. {1044}{1093}Most aren't even people. {1098}{1174}Come on, man.|I didn't fire off no laser. {1180}{1275}Then Why is there a smoking hole|in your ceiling? {1281}{1356}Crazy upstairs lady's|been shooting doWn. {1362}{1438}You're on the top floor|of this domicile. {1443}{1513}Get that f* * *ing camera|out of my house! {1519}{1611}Just relax, ma'am.|Sir? Put doWn the lamp. {1617}{1666}Okay, I'm cooperating. {1672}{1719}That's it.|Put up your hands. {1725}{1788}Nice and sloW.|Oh, yeah. {1794}{1903}- While you're at it, unblur your face.|- Oh, man! {1913}{1989}Bender, you said you were|in this episode. {1994}{2116}No. I'm on Caught on Tape Three|for what I did in the coffee pot. {2128}{2248}I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.|I'm just going through some things. {2335}{2388}I'm going in. {2402}{2472}Cop Department|Will be right back. {2477}{2562}Is today's lifestyle making you tense|and impatient? {2567}{2601}Shut up and get to the point! {2606}{2699}Then relive the carefree|days of yore at Past-O-Rama... {2705}{2829}...Where old NeW York comes alive.|- It's like living in the year 2000. {2835}{2908}Time for the mammoth hunt, dudes. {3013}{3138}- Let's disco dance, Hammurabi.|- "Dy-no-mite!" {3163}{3214}Located on the former site|of Brooklyn. {3220}{3298}Sounds like your kind of place.|Wanna go? {3303}{3384}If I ever wanna go back,|I'll freeze myself again. {3389}{3511}Come on, Fry! I want to see it.|You know I yearn for a simpler time... {3517}{3574}...of barn dances and buggy rides... {3580}{3660}...before life was cheapened|by heartless machines. {3665}{3723}But Bender, you are a... {3843}{3907}It's like the good old days. {3912}{3973}Give me your wallet|or I'll cut you! {3993}{4073}Get a picture of me being "mugged." {4079}{4121}Give me the camera too! {4178}{4218}Learning is fun. {4265}{4333}Ancient Wall Street. {4350}{4418}- No!|- I'm ruined! {4615}{4695}I direct your attention|to this ancient tablet. {4700}{4754}Which has yet to be deciphered. {4759}{4813}- Do you know?|- Yes. A cop told me. {4819}{4859}It means, "Up yours." {4865}{4949}I'm really enjoying the day out|with you people. {4955}{5049}Hey, a suicide booth!|So long, suckers! {5055}{5124}Sorry, Bender,|that's just a phone booth. {5130}{5223}- What were they used for?|- In New York? Bathrooms. {5228}{5278}I'll be out in a second. {5400}{5457}"Tokens only."|How does this work? {5462}{5496}I'll show you. {5524}{5593}It's a turnstile. {5705}{5736}What's this? {5742}{5853}- Another bathroom?|- It's a mobile apartment with no rent. {5872}{5933}Come on, Fry, get up! {6082}{6194}The tomb of the 20th century's|greatest spiritual leader... {6200}{6226}...AI Sharpton. {6277}{6324}Now, this guy had taste. {6329}{6398}He was mummified|in ceremonial vestments. {6404}{6462}We called it a "jogging suit." {6571}{6618}Old NeW York's traffic jams... {6624}{6710}...Were a public forum|for the exchange of opinions. {6718}{6762}Move it, crap for brains! {6767}{6808}Get on, bastard man! {6813}{6886}It all started|With Gerald Ford's invention... {6892}{6999}...the Automo-Car,|poWered by a tank of burning fossils. {7005}{7068}Here is a 20th century|assembly line... {7074}{7183}...Where cars Were constructed|by primitive robots. {7266}{7348}We've come a long way, baby. {7365}{7495}The fruit of the robot's labor Was|the stately 1992 Latoura. {7504}{7605}My girlfriend had one!|Actually, she wasn't my girlfriend... {7610}{7685}...she just never closed|her curtains. {7690}{7790}Didn't I tell you to end|your stories a sentence earlier? {7795}{7868}Let's sneak in for a closer look. {7920}{8014}We don't touch the antiques, sir. {8020}{8126}I'm sorry. You work here.|I should have known from that getup. {8138}{8254}This is from Miller's Outpo...|I mean, yeah, I work here all right. {8259}{8358}Move this rust bucket out behind|Saint Koch's cathedral. {8442}{8499}Did you drive much, Fry? {8505}{8608}No one in New York drove.|There was too much traffic. {8628}{8697}Nice.|Listen to that baby purr. {8702}{8758}There's a baby in there, huh? {8920}{8983}It's just like riding a bicy... {9448}{9544}- I think I got whiplash.|- How? You don't have a neck. {9549}{9599}I meant ass whiplash. {9604}{9698}I'm glad we hit something.|I thought we'd never stop. {9785}{9848}I think I got whiplash. {10228}{10268}How's that robot I hit? {10282}{10318}We did all we could. {10335}{10407}- You mean he's...|- Good as new? Yes! {10413}{10516}Leela, Zoidberg, the rest of you,|this is Flexo. {10521}{10635}Except for that stylish beard,|he looks just like Bender! {10640}{10702}No duh! We're both bending units. {10707}{10754}What's your serial number? {10759}{10801}3370318. {10806}{10923}No way! Mine's 2716057. {10973}{11079}- I don't get it.|- We're both the sum of two cubes. {11104}{11212}Sorry about crushing your body, Flexo.|You okay now? {11217}{11288}Well, I don't feel as bad as you look. {11329}{11394}I'm just messing with you.|You're okay. {11400}{11493}That's some face you've got.|There's a cream for that. {11520}{11614}- No. You're great.|- Is there anything I can do for you? {11620}{11736}Your stunt did a number on my back.|You mind rubbing it for me? {11742}{11768}Sure. {11774}{11826}That's it.|A little lower. {11832}{11879}- How's that?|- Lower. {11885}{11983}- That's it. A little lower, though.|- I can't get any lower. {11988}{12059}I'll say.|You're rubbing my ass! {12220}{12288}Check it out.|Six beautiful devices. {12293}{12401}They know what you like, and they|do it to within one micron. {12444}{12514}- Spin those fans, baby.|- Yeah, baby! {12520}{12579}All right, mama! {12585}{12650}- Spin it, baby.|- Gyrate it, honey! {12765}{12863}I don't like this place.|It's 120 with little oxygen. {12868}{12913}Shut up and hoot. {13014}{13072}- Yeah!|- All right! {13178}{13278}Hubba-hubba! She is built!|In Mexico, I believe. {13283}{13381}And that ain't silicon.|It's tungsten, and plenty of it. {13387}{13471}Yeah.|Look at that exhaust fan. {13479}{13553}- Pervert.|- Yoo-hoo... {13658}{13748}Thanks, moderate spender.|Select erotic transaction. {13753}{13824}How about a lap dance|for my pal here? {13900}{13978}No.|That's all right. Really. {14105}{14198}There's something about Flexo|I don't like. {14204}{14263}Hey, Fry? Think fast! {14300}{14363}Get it? It's chlorine! {14449}{14541}- It's funny because it's poisonous.|- Keep laughing, shrimp. {14547}{14609}He's bad news.|I regret hitting him. {14615}{14687}Take a rage dump.|He's no worse than Bender. {14693}{14789}He is. He drinks, smokes|and posts naked photos of me. {14795}{14863}- That's Bender.|- I'm talking about Flexo. {14868}{14985}I get it. This is cute.|You're jealous of Bender's new friend. {14990}{15051}No, I'm not! Mark my words: {15057}{15141}Flexo's evil.|He's the evil Bender. {15149}{15180}Rage dump. {15210}{15338}Good news, everyone. Report to|my bedroom for a private exhibition. {15370}{15476}Everyone, get in bed with me.|I have something to show you. {15560}{15603}Feast your eyes... {15608}{15658}...on this! {15669}{15704}It's beautiful! {15710}{15744}And huge! {15750}{15779}Can I touch it? {15785}{15821}What is it, already? {15826}{15884}It's a single atom of Jumbonium. {15889}{16002}An element so rare the nucleus alone|is worth more than $50,000. {16007}{16055}- How much more?|- 100,000. {16060}{16122}That's why I hid it|under my mattress. {16127}{16192}Can we discuss this somewhere else? {16197}{16230}Why certainly. {16245}{16316}The atom sits atop|this dime-store tiara... {16322}{16452}...to be awarded to the winner|of the Miss Universe Pageant. {16458}{16539}Your job is to deliver it,|safe and sound. {16544}{16643}When I was a little girl,|I dreamed of being Miss Universe. {16649}{16678}That's pathetic. {16683}{16758}Deep down,|all girls wanna be Miss Universe. {16764}{16796}- Not me.|- Really? {16802}{16858}Maybe it's just cute girls. {16863}{16983}The atom's value would bankrupt|Planet Express, if it were stolen. {16989}{17085}We'll need to hire additional security|for the mission. {17091}{17151}Mister Professor, right here! {17157}{17219}We should stick with people we know. {17225}{17289}- Flexo's great, but...|- Flexo's great? {17295}{17341}That's good enough for me. {17346}{17423}Welcome aboard, lad. {17630}{17697}Space bandidos are operating nearby. {17702}{17766}You'll take eight-hour guard shifts. {17771}{17826}Bender, then Flexo, then Fry. {17832}{17913}Wait. Hold on.|Let's go alphabetically. {17919}{18003}Okay. Bender, then Flexo, then Fry. {18008}{18036}Go by rank. {18042}{18121}Okay. Bender, then Flexo, then Fry. {18126}{18158}Flexo outranks me? {18164}{18243}That's "Flexo outranks me, sir!" {18354}{18424}- Who goes there?|- Don't point that at me. {18429}{18525}I know Flexo's your friend,|but I don't trust him. {18530}{18621}Just because he has a beard|you label him as evil? {18627}{18729}I've got a label for you,|an ugly word called "prejudice." {18734}{18821}- I'm not prejudiced.|- Save it for the cross burning, Adolf! {18936}{19021}- Keeping an eye on the safe?|- You know it! {19026}{19145}Looks like it's my shift.|Lie down and go off-line for a while. {19151}{19203}All right. {19411}{19479}Caught you!|You were looking at the atom. {19484}{19533}So? I look at lots of atoms. {19538}{19653}- Shouldn't you rest up for your shift?|- You'd like me to fall asleep. {19658}{19728}Whatever it takes to shut your yapper. {19738}{19783}I'm just kidding you. {19788}{19874}Here's a joke:|I'm gonna sit here until my shift. {19879}{19940}- Suit yourself, skinbag.|- I will. {19945}{20026}- Good!|- Good! {20068}{20094}Good! {20178}{20218}That's eight hours. {20224}{20279}Eight hours of solid boredom. {20285}{20368}I'm kidding.|You're a wonderful man. {20398}{20473}Finally, the atom is safe. {20937}{20978}What is it? {20983}{21037}My God!|Did you hear maracas? {21042}{21090}- No.|- It wasn't space bandidos. {21096}{21126}Lock the ship. {21131}{21193}- Don't let Flexo escape.|- Aye, aye. {21198}{21318}It appears Flexo has outwitted us all.|Especially me... {21324}{21369}...Bender. {21470}{21516}How did he steal the atom? {21521}{21599}By using a sleep ray.|Sleep rays exist, right? {21604}{21655}- No.|- Then I fell asleep. {21660}{21719}You were sure right about Flexo. {21725}{21789}The ship's locked.|He may have escaped. {21795}{21869}Thanks, Bender.|Let's look for him. {21874}{21948}I've got a map of the ship right here. {21953}{22053}Keep an eye on Fry.|It's possible that he did it. {22322}{22351}Searching... {22388}{22481}Why are you looking for Flexo|in my underpants? {22486}{22593}He wasn't here 10 minutes ago,|so I thought I'd check again. {22615}{22681}Well, he wasn't in the kitchen room. {22700}{22770}Bender, can I hold that map|for a second? {22775}{22881}And leave me high and dry in case|of a scavenger hunt? No way. {22890}{22928}Give it up! {22988}{23072}All right, take it! {23162}{23218}Looks like Flexo got away clean. {23223}{23254}It's a darn shame. {23260}{23334}He must have jumped ship|just as we landed. {23340}{23434}Or maybe he never left at all! {23440}{23481}Wait. You're Bender. {23486}{23525}Who said I wasn't? {23530}{23627}Why were you wearing a scarf,|a turtleneck and this? {23632}{23740}It's a little thing called style.|Look it up sometime. {24053}{24143}Our ninth finalist,|Miss Methane Planet... {24148}{24204}...Halatina Smogmeyer. {24342}{24443}And our tenth and final finalist,|Miss Earth's Moon... {24449}{24496}...the Crush-A-Nator. {24567}{24664}Thank you, Bob Barker.|I'm as happy as a girl can be. {24670}{24700}End statement. {24705}{24833}Which one of these lovely womanoids|will take home the atomic tiara? {24839}{24881}Downplay the tiara. {24886}{25000}We'll find out after these|subliminal messages. {25062}{25163}You lost the atom, huh?|You're garbage! Human garbage! {25168}{25268}Do you space jockeys have any idea|how much it's worth? {25273}{25313}- $100,000?|- $200,000? {25319}{25403}- $200,001?|- You're closest without going over. {25408}{25498}We'll leave. Just sign,|saying you received the atom. {25504}{25605}I'm not signing squat.|Find me that damn tiara. {25610}{25658}- But, Mr. Barker...|- Enough! {25663}{25772}I may be against the fur industry,|but I'll skin you alive! {25777}{25840}As long as no one wears the skin. {25873}{25954}Well, gentlemen,|it appears we're boned. {26000}{26037}- Flexo!|- Get him! {26328}{26427}Next, in what is generously called|the talent competition... {26432}{26508}...performing a traditional|gangster rap, Miss... {26514}{26562}What the...? {26605}{26643}Got you! {26695}{26751}Fight! Fight! Fight! {26760}{26884}- Shoot him, he's choking me!|- No. Shoot him, he's choking me! {26933}{27022}- I don't know which one to shoot!|- Shoot Flexo! {27203}{27243}Women only room! {27480}{27531}All right, enough of this! {27806}{27858}There's the atom! {27902}{27951}Bender? You stole the atom? {27957}{28030}Yeah, but I can explain:|It's very valuable. {28035}{28159}I saw him snatch it while Fry slept.|That's why I ran to tell Bob Barker. {28164}{28246}Wait a second.|Bender is the evil Bender? {28251}{28333}I am shocked! Shocked!|Well, not that shocked. {28338}{28434}I'm sorry we suspected you, Flexo.|But with the beard... {28440}{28507}Don't even bother!|You people sicken me! {28512}{28601}I put my life on the line.|This is how you repay me? {28606}{28698}You can go rot for all I care! {28724}{28798}I'm just kidding.|You guys are all right. {28843}{28873}I'm so confused. {28878}{28979}The Bender I like is evil,|and the Bender I hate is good. {28985}{29073}How can I live my life|and not tell good from evil? {29078}{29173}They're both fine choices.|Whatever floats your boat. {29219}{29269}- Is this the guy?|- Huh? Yeah. {29275}{29307}It looks like him. {29312}{29358}- Wait, but l...|- Take him away. {29415}{29488}Let's put an end|to this pathetic hoedown. {29494}{29525}Brannigan? {29530}{29581}And the winner is... {29586}{29644}Who else but Zapp Brannigan... {29650}{29739}...would be judging the most|chauvinistic, degrading... {29745}{29788}Leela? {29834}{29888}Wait, you're making a... {29900}{29953}Look at that! {29978}{30043}I feel like a princess! {30170}{30213}Are you people idiots? {30219}{30308}I'm still going mano a mano|with this envelope. {30397}{30426}And the winner is... {30440}{30481}...Miss Vega 4! {30713}{30749}There it is... {30755}{30863}...Miss Universe {30869}{30947}There it is... {30952}{31038}...looking Weird {31055}{31101}I almost had that tiara. {31117}{31142}Me too. {31147}{31184}You guys are losers... {31189}{31281}...but I made out with the woman|from the Radiator Planet. {31286}{31358}Fry, that's a radiator. {31393}{31449}Is there a burn ward nearby? {32424}{32449}Subtitles by|SDI Media Group {32453}{32478}[ENGLISH]