{80}{203}What a great choice. Amazing food!|And such generous portions.
{211}{267}Just wait till you try the mints.
{273}{340}Doug, most guys are put off by my eye.
{346}{407}It's nice to meet someone open-minded.
{470}{503}Ew!
{638}{691}Love's Labour Lost in Space
{1234}{1275}What went wrong last night?
{1280}{1360}I don't know.|I couldn't put my finger on it.
{1366}{1419}Possibly his vile lizard tongue.
{1427}{1458}You're too picky.
{1464}{1556}If you rule out every guy|with a lizard tongue or low l.Q. . .
{1562}{1626}. . .or a temper,|you're gonna be lonely.
{1632}{1711}There's nothing wrong|with having high standards.
{1716}{1776}Leela's problem is purely medical.
{1782}{1881}She'll drop her eggs.|They'll hatch and all will be well.
{1886}{1930}Give guys a chance.
{1936}{2061}You think a guy is a pig, but then|you realize he has a good body.
{2067}{2130}Thank you for the inspiring advice.
{2136}{2186}But I'm happy with my life.
{2191}{2242}That sounds like a cry for help.
{2247}{2331}Let's go out.|There's great places to meet people.
{2336}{2398}-The Sex Bureau.|-A saucy puppet show.
{2404}{2456}A rotting whale carcass.
{2470}{2500}I'll pick.
{2669}{2746}Oh, wow! It's totally retro!
{2752}{2856}-Why's everyone wearing rings?|-Because nobody wears them anymore.
{2862}{2925}-Rings are stupid.|-They look cool.
{2930}{2976}Don't let anyone hear you!
{2982}{3035}Did he say rings are cool?
{3041}{3101}-No, he said they're stupid.|-Cool!
{3157}{3205}What do you think of that guy?
{3210}{3276}-I don't know. Maybe.|-Forget it. He's gay.
{3282}{3324}What? How can you tell?
{3329}{3413}I just know these things.|I've got "gaydar. "
{3418}{3455}There's no such thing.
{3461}{3500}No?
{3591}{3661}Okay, I got a lock on him.
{3666}{3696}Yep! He's gay.
{3701}{3743}-Are you sure?|-Definitely!
{3749}{3825}Or it's interference|from a gay weather balloon.
{3831}{3950}You're from the 20th century?|That's incredible. I'm from the 21 st!
{3956}{4011}We've got so much in common!
{4017}{4108}We sure do. Remember when|the cyborgs enslaved humanity?
{4114}{4177}Yeah! That rings a bell.
{4194}{4233}This is Bolt Rolands.
{4239}{4330}He's a hyper-sled racer|with 1 0 wins on the pro circuit.
{4336}{4375}Hello, beautiful.
{4380}{4461}I think she means 1 0 wins|on the gay circuit.
{4467}{4536}I wish. Those cats can really fly.
{4613}{4643}M'oh.
{4942}{5041}This is M-5438,|an entity of pure energy.
{5047}{5124}Great. But he's just|not what I'm looking for.
{5129}{5235}I understand. One day you will|evolve beyond your physical body.
{5241}{5330}And on that day, I hope|you will pick up the phone.
{5337}{5390}You're impossible.
{5397}{5471}Just as well.|He comes from a dimension. . .
{5477}{5526}. . .that's big on musical theater.
{5705}{5791}I need the apartment.|Go see a saucy puppet show.
{5797}{5829}Can do!
{5914}{5995}My, my, my.|What's a beautiful lady like you--?
{6001}{6090}Oh, my! I'm sorry!|I thought you had two eyes.
{6124}{6230}Leela, you must've had your pick|last night at closing time.
{6236}{6307}Could you stop talking|about my personal life?
{6312}{6397}Yes, let's talk about|Leela's personal life later.
{6402}{6453}We have business to attend to.
{6459}{6555}-A delivery?|-A tax-deductible mission of charity.
{6592}{6620}ROBOTIC VOICE:|This is Vergon 6.
{6634}{6677}This is Vergon 6.
{6682}{6700}Buh!
{6707}{6833}It's a sunny little doomed planet|inhabited by frisky, doomed animals.
{6845}{6883}-Animals?|-That's right.
{6888}{6951}Animals in need of rescue.
{6957}{7071}Vergon 6 was once filled with|the dense substance "Dark Matter. "
{7116}{7187}Each pound of it weighs over|1 0,000 pounds.
{7192}{7246}Wait. What about the animals?
{7251}{7339}Well, Dark Matter is valuable|as starship fuel.
{7344}{7436}That's why it was mined out,|leaving the planet hollow.
{7441}{7488}But what about the animals?
{7502}{7543}-The--?|-The animals.
{7548}{7668}I didn't mention animals. The planet|will collapse within three days.
{7674}{7735}This will kill all the animals.
{7741}{7825}We have to save two of each kind.|Like Noah's Ark.
{7830}{7865}Why two?
{7884}{7904}Oh.
{7909}{7932}[GIGGLES]
{8037}{8108}I bet Leela's holding out|for a one-eyed guy.
{8113}{8146}That'll take forever.
{8151}{8240}She ought to find a guy|with two eyes and poke one out.
{8246}{8290}That'd be a timesaver.
{8295}{8323}Do you mind?
{8329}{8381}You can use this as a poker.
{8387}{8503}Thanks, if it's less than five,|I don't care how many eyes he has.
{8509}{8635}I want a guy who's adventurous, self-|confident, maybe a snappy dresser.
{8647}{8724}These new uniforms are snappy,|first officer.
{8729}{8771}I suppose, captain.
{8777}{8843}I'm not a big fan|of velour as you are.
{8849}{8913}What do you want|to do about that ship?
{8919}{8944}Destroy them!
{9022}{9090}That's got a nice feel to it.
{9126}{9210}ZAPP:|Captain's journal. Stardate, 3000.3.
{9216}{9258}KIF:|Who are you talking to?
{9263}{9325}You. Aren't you getting this?
{9369}{9486}A vessel is attempting to break|the security cordon around Vergon 6.
{9491}{9613}I'm anticipating a tactical dogfight,|followed by a light dinner.
{9620}{9697}Ravioli, ham, sundae bar. . . .
{9702}{9766}Hey, look! Zapp Brannigan's ship.
{9772}{9851}-Wow! The Zapp Brannigan?|-Uh-huh.
{9857}{9895}Who's the Zapp Brannigan?
{9901}{9954}Shall I fire on them now, sir?
{9959}{9984}Not yet, Kif.
{9989}{10095}In the game of chess, never let|your adversary see your pieces.
{10104}{10134}What?
{10139}{10220}Zapp Brannigan alone|saved the Octillion System. . .
{10225}{10279}. . .from rampaging Killbots.
{10284}{10373}-Wow!|-A grim day for robot-kind.
{10378}{10434}But we can build more Killbots!
{10439}{10531}He's the most decorated captain|in the Order of Planets.
{10536}{10581}Leela's got a boyfriend!
{10587}{10693}No, but we ought to see|if he'll help us rescue those animals.
{10698}{10793}In case you hit it off,|you'll want to take this with you.
{10869}{10900}They're headed for us.
{10905}{11008}A calculated move out of Sun Tzu's|classic text, The Art of War.
{11014}{11105}Or my own masterwork,|Zapp Brannigan 's Big Book of War.
{11111}{11194}The one thing their captain|doesn't realize is--
{11199}{11253}They've docked and come aboard.
{11259}{11351}Then I've risked all and lost.|I'll be in the escape pod.
{11356}{11470}If that wicker chair I like survives,|have it sent to my P.O. box.
{11571}{11656}I'm Leela, captain of|the Planet Express delivery ship.
{11662}{11715}We're pleading for assistance.
{11721}{11746}If there's--
{11751}{11808}I'm in command. Zapp Brannigan.
{11814}{11883}Has my fame preceded me,|or was I too quick?
{11888}{11930}Oh, not at all.
{11935}{12009}I'm just so really thrilled|to meet you.
{12014}{12101}You're an impressive captain,|beautiful and deadly.
{12107}{12174}-A potent combination.|-You don't mean that.
{12179}{12280}I haven't seen more than|three captains sexier than you.
{12286}{12335}Only one who was deadlier.
{12340}{12400}I heard you defeated a horde. . .
{12406}{12477}. . .of somethings|in the something system.
{12482}{12576}The Killbots?|Simply a matter of outsmarting them.
{12581}{12631}I never would've thought of that.
{12636}{12691}Killbots have a preset kill limit.
{12697}{12788}Knowing that, I sent wave|after wave of my own men at them. . .
{12794}{12840}. . .until they shut down.
{12846}{12920}Kif, show them the medal I won.
{12990}{13056}More, please. A little more.
{13062}{13118}More. Keep going.
{13124}{13191}We need to talk about our mission.
{13196}{13257}I'm willing to put wave after wave. . .
{13262}{13331}. . .of men at your disposal.|Right, men?
{13337}{13364}MAN:|You suck!
{13369}{13445}We're hoping to save the animals|of Vergon 6.
{13451}{13493}-If you could--|-Vergon 6!
{13499}{13560}-This dinner is over.|-What's wrong?
{13565}{13666}The Order of Planets prohibits|interfering with other worlds.
{13672}{13745}It's a little rule known|as "Brannigan's Law. "
{13751}{13856}People already interfered.|That planet was mined hollow.
{13862}{13931}By an Order of Planets mining crew.
{13936}{13991}This doesn't make any sense.
{13996}{14089}I don't pretend to understand|Brannigan's Law. I enforce it.
{14094}{14155}Fine, we'll save the animals alone.
{14161}{14235}I'm afraid I can't allow that.|Guards!
{14256}{14335}-What just happened?|-He's throwing us in prison.
{14340}{14410}Dang! Can I get this wrapped up?
{14476}{14498}Ow!
{14526}{14626}I might've liked Zapp if he|hadn't thrown me in prison.
{14632}{14676}You really are too picky.
{14681}{14736}Kif, follow me up to the deck.
{14742}{14805}I've got some musing to do.
{14849}{14900}Oh, jeez!
{14921}{15006}I'm facing a formidable|female adversary. Suggestions?
{15011}{15069}I fail to see any problem, sir.
{15074}{15148}You've imprisoned her|under directive B-1 0.81 .
{15153}{15198}You mean Brannigan's Law?
{15217}{15258}Right, that law.
{15264}{15348}-Which one?|-Brannigan's Law.
{15353}{15452}You're my best friend,|but you've earned my contempt again.
{15457}{15517}You should know, the way to deal. . .
{15522}{15594}. . .with a female adversary|is to seduce her.
{15632}{15711}-This time we are sure she's a woman?|-Yes!
{15717}{15768}Invite her to my quarters.
{15774}{15843}And have the boy lay out|my formal shorts.
{15848}{15878}The boy, sir?
{15883}{15960}You. You lay out my formal shorts.
{15989}{16061}The jackass wants to see you|in his quarters.
{16067}{16160}Now's my chance to reason|with him, captain to captain.
{16166}{16240}And he wants you to wear this.
{16282}{16333}ZAPP:|Come and get it!
{16389}{16500}Welcome to my humble chamber.|Or as I call it, "The Love-Nasium. "
{16526}{16634}-Cham-pag-in?|-You're such a coin-a-sewer.
{16647}{16730}Well, I have studied abroad. Or two.
{16808}{16877}-Captain, if we could speak seriously.|-Uh-huh.
{16895}{16961}Please let us rescue those animals.
{16966}{16986}Mm-hm.
{17169}{17293}I like your style.|I find it very erotic.
{17298}{17338}-What?|-Erotic!
{17351}{17422}Erotic! Erotic! Erotic!
{17490}{17580}We can escape. Just bend|the hatch off this steam pipe.
{17586}{17625}Hey, yeah!
{17739}{17779}FRY:|No! It's full of steam!
{17793}{17873}You look like a woman|who enjoys the finer things.
{17878}{17952}Come over here|and feel my velour bedspread.
{17957}{17997}I'm not in the mood.
{18002}{18102}Leela, it's real velour.|Just let yourself go.
{18132}{18191}Can I please just go back to prison?
{18196}{18290}You'd rather sit in prison|than spend time with the "Zapper"?
{18296}{18345}Much rather.
{18351}{18386}[ZAPP SNIVELS]
{18407}{18450}What are you doing?
{18465}{18525}Oh, God, I'm pathetic.
{18540}{18606}Sorry. Just go.
{18612}{18659}You want the cham-pag-in?
{18664}{18735}No. And it's pronounced "champagne. "
{18741}{18805}Oh, God, no!
{18815}{18853}It's not a big deal.
{18859}{18975}I get so lonely. I just thought|a fellow captain would understand.
{18980}{19006}Oh, forget it.
{19011}{19067}It's great ordering people around.
{19072}{19148}But through it all,|you're completely alone.
{19153}{19204}It comes with the job.
{19209}{19275}I'm just so lonely!
{19312}{19421}Oh, come on. Cheer up.|It's not that bad.
{19442}{19511}-Want to try escaping again?|-I'm comfy.
{19527}{19583}Leela's been gone a long time.
{19589}{19653}I hope she's making progress|with Zapp.
{19871}{19905}[SNORES]
{19945}{19980}Good morning, lover.
{20005}{20075}-Listen. . . .|-Now you're officially my woman.
{20081}{20139}Kudos! I can't say I don't envy you.
{20144}{20194}Last night was a mistake.
{20199}{20231}A sexy mistake.
{20236}{20286}No, just a regular mistake.
{20291}{20375}For a second my common sense|was overwhelmed by pity.
{20405}{20449}A second is all it takes.
{20454}{20554}That's why eventually you'll come|crawling back to the Zapper.
{20559}{20670}The only kind of crawling|I'm doing to you is away. . .from.
{20676}{20747}Leela, you're obviously|confused and aroused.
{20752}{20858}I'm going to Vergon 6 to save|those animals, like it or not!
{20864}{20892}I won't stop you.
{20897}{20946}Threaten all you-- What?
{20952}{21075}We both know you won't make it to|Vergon 6 before the craving sets in.
{21081}{21204}Then you'll come crawling back|for another taste of sweet candy.
{21218}{21248}Bam!
{21253}{21278}Ew.
{21354}{21412}-Kif?|-Yes-- Oh!
{21420}{21454}Yes, captain?
{21459}{21538}I have made it with a woman.|Inform the men.
{21605}{21661}The fatso says you're free to go.
{21667}{21756}-Really? Why?|-"Why," indeed.
{21762}{21808}-What was that?|-Nothing.
{21813}{21879}Should we go and head to the planet?
{21884}{21922}We just talked, okay?
{22169}{22291}We don't have much time. The planet|is supposed to collapse in--
{22297}{22324}Two hours ago.
{22379}{22430}Purple Fruit Snake. . . .|Purple Fruit Snake. . . .
{23109}{23145}Hello, there.
{23313}{23355}He's not on the list.
{23361}{23400}So we can cook him?
{23405}{23468}A barbecue!|I'll wear my funny apron!
{23473}{23575}No! I don't care about your apron,|we're not cooking him.
{23607}{23636}Ahhh.
{23641}{23683}I'll call him "Nibbler. "
{23689}{23721}Ahhh.
{23727}{23776}I'll fire up the grill.
{23781}{23859}I hope he'll be okay|with all those big animals.
{24327}{24445}Once my woman returns, I won't have|time to hang with the boys anymore.
{24450}{24491}That's a shame, sir.
{24497}{24575}So let's make the most|of our time together.
{24601}{24680}Never mind. Just give me a back rub.
{24691}{24735}I found some hermaphlamingos.
{24740}{24780}That's the last species.
{24814}{24837}Huh?
{24843}{24907}BENDER: Hey, what the--?|-Where'd they all go?
{25049}{25073}[BURPS]
{25080}{25099}Nibbler!
{25105}{25201}I can't believe we flew across|the galaxy and had a steam. . .
{25206}{25253}. . .to get lunch for him.
{25258}{25315}He's pending for a Bending.
{25365}{25454}It's not his fault|he's an unstoppable killing machine.
{25459}{25520}Is it, snookums?
{25544}{25585}The planet's kerr-ploding!
{25746}{25785}Prepare for liftoff.
{25829}{25930}We're out of fuel!|Bender, I told you to fill the tank.
{25936}{25992}I'll do it when we get back.
{26040}{26108}Lucky for us Zapp Brannigan's nearby.
{26113}{26194}Forget it!|I refuse to go crawling back to him.
{26199}{26235}What do you mean?
{26241}{26283}Nothing. We just talked.
{26288}{26350}So? It's not like you slept with him.
{26465}{26538}Oh, my God!
{26543}{26586}How could you, Leela?
{26592}{26694}I thought you had standards!|Jeez, he's a dumb, gross gorilla!
{26699}{26772}Don't you think I feel|bad enough already?
{26777}{26803}No!
{26855}{26916}All right, I'll call him.
{26922}{26991}If living is that important to you.
{26996}{27061}--that's why you'll never|make captain.
{27121}{27146}Hello, Zapp?
{27152}{27244}-Well, well, well.|-Zapp, we're out of fuel.
{27249}{27323}Vergon 6 is about to implode.|We need help.
{27328}{27460}So, crawling back to the Big Z|like a bird on its belly. Delicious.
{27466}{27531}-Birds don 't crawl.|-They've been known to!
{27536}{27586}Are you gonna rescue us or not?
{27592}{27652}Can 't you ask a bit more sexfully?
{27737}{27825}Please, Big Z?
{27831}{27899}But first you have|to get rid of that thing.
{27927}{27953}That's the law.
{27958}{28058}Brannigan's Law is like|Brannigan's love. Hard and fast.
{28065}{28147}Now put that greasy rat outside|and we'll tow you.
{28152}{28210}I'd never abandon a helpless animal.
{28215}{28295}You know, once I thought you were|a pompous buffoon.
{28301}{28378}Then I realized that inside|you were a child.
{28384}{28479}Now I realize that outside|that child is a pompous buffoon!
{28484}{28565}And which one rocked your world?
{28571}{28593}[LEELA SIGHS]
{28599}{28684}Way to tell that guy off!|What's your escape plan?
{28689}{28768}I guess to sit here|and wait for death.
{28773}{28810}Can do!
{28815}{28837}[LOUD THUDDING]
{28843}{28882}What the hell was that?
{28978}{29001}Pew!
{29007}{29068}I don't believe it!|It's Dark Matter!
{29073}{29168}So this guy just unloaded|a steaming pile of starship fuel?
{29174}{29246}His species must've|filled the planet with it.
{29251}{29318}Did you do that, you cute little--?
{29365}{29433}That should be enough fuel|to get us out.
{29439}{29494}Bender, put it in the engine.
{30115}{30140}We made it!
{30167}{30223}And some of the animals survived!
{30247}{30329}So a couple animals didn't die|and Leela got lucky.
{30334}{30399}That's what I call|a successful mission.
{30404}{30448}We're heroes!
{30462}{30546}Dear diary: I didn't|find love on this mission. . .
{30552}{30651}. . .but I did find a cute little|companion who excretes fuel.
{30657}{30710}And that's just as good.
{30817}{30886}ZAPP:|Captain's journal, Stardate, uh. . . .
{30892}{30935}KIF:|April 1 3th.
{30941}{31000}ZAPP:|April 1 3th. Point-two.
{31006}{31056}We failed to uphold the law.
{31062}{31136}However, I did make it|with a hot alien babe.
{31141}{31225}And in the end, is that not|what man has dreamt of. . .
{31230}{31295}. . .since first he looked up|at the stars?
{31310}{31370}Kif, I'm asking you a question.
{31375}{31406}Oh.
{32263}{32288}Subtitles by|SDI Media Group
{32292}{32317}[ENGLISH SDH]