{79}{119}FARNSWORTH:|Good news, everyone.
{124}{233}Tomorrow, you'll make a delivery|to Ebola Nine, the virus planet.
{238}{312}-Why can't they go today?|-Tonight's special.
{317}{366}I want you all to be alive.
{371}{448}It's the Academy of Inventors|annual symposium.
{453}{556}-Wow! I love symposia!|-The scientific event of the season.
{562}{685}Every member presents an invention.|The best one wins the Academy prize.
{690}{768}-Sounds boring.|-Oh, my, yes. But not this year. . .
{773}{850}. . .because my latest invention|is unbeatable.
{856}{917}Behold, the Death Clock.
{922}{988}Jam your finger in the hole.|This readout. . .
{993}{1059}. . .tells you how long|you have to live.
{1065}{1163}-Does it really work?|-Sometimes it's off by seconds. . .
{1168}{1288}-. . .what with free will and all.|-Cool. How long do I have to live?
{1345}{1397}Dibs on his CD player!
{1537}{1588}A Big Piece of Garbage
{2312}{2356}FARNSWORTH:|Oh, my, yes.
{2366}{2454}-Who's the nerd?|-That's me at the first symposium.
{2460}{2528}I'm the Academy's|oldest living member.
{2533}{2616}-These youngsters look up to me.|-Well, well, well.
{2621}{2687}Look who's showing his wrinkled face.
{2692}{2813}-Just leave me alone, Wernstrom.|-You're over the hill, Farnsworth.
{2818}{2878}Leave science to the 1 20-year-olds.
{2883}{2944}You think you know everything.
{2950}{3040}I invented things when you|were barely turning senile.
{3047}{3123}Go home before you|embarrass yourself, old man.
{3129}{3228}Now excuse me. I'm taking|a nap before the ceremonies.
{3252}{3280}Who's that jerk?
{3286}{3400}He was my most promising student|1 00 years ago, at Mars University.
{3406}{3493}But then, after one|fateful pop quiz. . . .
{3526}{3617}A-minus? No one gives|Ogden Wernstrom an A-minus!
{3622}{3682}I'm sorry, but penmanship counts.
{3687}{3793}I swear I'll have my revenge|if it takes me 1 00 years.
{3815}{3932}And here it is, slightly over|99 years later and still no revenge.
{3937}{3978}I'm essentially in the clear.
{4069}{4141}I've been perusing your|fortified wine list. . .
{4146}{4219}. . .and I've selected|the '71 Hobo's Delight. . .
{4225}{4339}. . .the '57 Chateau Par-Tay,|and the '66 Thunder Chevitz.
{4345}{4403}Exquisite choices, sir.
{4408}{4497}And mix them all together|in a big jug.
{4502}{4604}Welcome to this year's symposium.|I'm your host, Ron Popeil. . .
{4610}{4695}. . .inventor of Mr. Microphone,|the Spray-on Toupee. . .
{4700}{4783}. . .and the technology|to keep heads alive in jars.
{4869}{4960}Wait, there's more.|We've got many inventors tonight. . .
{4966}{5073}. . .starting with that up-and-coming|young star, Ogden Wernstrom.
{5092}{5143}-Boo!|-More wine!
{5148}{5264}Distinguished members of the Academy,|I present the Reverse Scuba Suit.
{5269}{5289}Observe.
{5295}{5320}Fetch!
{5628}{5668}Now, sit.
{5675}{5748}I said sit! Bad fish!
{5770}{5820}[APPLAUSE]
{5840}{5935}Don't worry. It's no competition|for your Death Clock.
{5940}{6008}What will you be presenting, grandpa?
{6013}{6106}It'll put you young whippersnappers|in your place.
{6111}{6192}I hope it's not as lame as|last year's Death Clock.
{6204}{6256}-Last year?|-That's right.
{6261}{6286}Oh, my.
{6292}{6379}-Did it put you youngsters in place?|-Hardly.
{6385}{6478}We laughed until our teeth fell out.|Come along, Cinnamon.
{6507}{6596}I have to invent something new|in the next 1 0 minutes.
{6602}{6683}Perhaps some sort of Death Clock!
{6688}{6714}Uh, professor?
{6730}{6803}[PROPELLER ENGINES WHIRLING]
{6906}{6942}-Very nice.|-Amazing!
{6947}{7058}Our last presentation comes from|our oldest member, Hubert Farnsworth.
{7071}{7108}Professor?
{7113}{7166}Just a second. Just a second.
{7172}{7238}Pencils down, prune-face.
{7274}{7338}Here I am. Now, hello there.
{7343}{7454}We all know telescopes|allow us to see distant objects. . .
{7459}{7578}. . .but what if we want to smell|those objects? Well, now we can.
{7583}{7635}Thanks to my new invention. . .
{7641}{7698}. . .the Smell-O-Scope.
{7735}{7858}The odor travels past this coffee|stain here. Around the olive pit. . .
{7864}{7914}. . .and into this cigar burn.
{7920}{7968}And this appears to be a. . .
{7982}{8058}. . .doodle of myself as a cowboy.
{8063}{8083}[CROWD LAUGHS]
{8088}{8148}But the Smell-O-Scope is brilliant!
{8153}{8253}Think of the astronomical odors|you'll smell, thanks to me!
{8258}{8307}[CROWD LAUGHS]
{8339}{8369}Oh, my.
{8392}{8456}[CROWD LAUGHS]
{8474}{8540}I've waited 1 00 years for this.
{8545}{8624}I give your invention|the worst grade imaginable:
{8635}{8705}An A-minus-minus!
{8711}{8786}[CROWD LAUGHS]
{8827}{8955}Now for the presentation of the award.|I'm practically giving this away to. . .
{8961}{9043}. . .Dr. Wernstrom,|for his fish thingy.
{9163}{9209}[FARNSWORTH SNIFFS]
{9280}{9398}Perhaps 1 49 is just too old|to be a scientist.
{9403}{9473}-Yep.|-No, professor! Don't give up!
{9478}{9578}There were many times in my century|when I never gave up.
{9584}{9604}Never.
{9609}{9681}Are you even listening to me?|Oh, I give up.
{9686}{9816}By God, you're right!|I'm going to build that Smell-O-Scope!
{9862}{9897}FARNSWORTH:|Eureka!
{9910}{9945}FRY:|Did you build it?
{9951}{10036}No, I remembered that I|built one last year!
{10050}{10083}Go ahead, try it.
{10098}{10201}You'll find that every heavenly|body has its own scent.
{10206}{10268}Here, I'll point it at Jupiter.
{10319}{10361}[FRY SNIFFS]
{10366}{10428}-Smells like strawberries.|-Exactly.
{10433}{10478}And now, Saturn.
{10519}{10584}Pine needles. Man, this is great!
{10592}{10658}As long as you don't make me|smell Uranus.
{10675}{10728}-I don't get it.|-I'm sorry, Fry.
{10733}{10868}Astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to|end that stupid joke once and for all.
{10887}{10940}-What's it called now?|-Urectum.
{10946}{11013}Here, let me locate it for you.
{11021}{11098}No, I think I'll just|smell around over here.
{11104}{11219}[FRY SNIFFS]
{11246}{11311}[FRY GAGS]
{11331}{11363}What is it?
{11369}{11416}Oh, jeez! Oh, man!
{11421}{11533}Remarkable! A stench so foul|it's right off the funkometer!
{11539}{11668}Fry may have discovered the smelliest|object in the known universe!
{11674}{11724}Oh! Name it after me!
{11753}{11793}I think it's moving.
{11814}{11897}Perhaps the computer|can calculate its trajectory.
{11904}{11992}My God! It's headed straight for us!
{11997}{12101}With enough force to reduce|this city to a stinky crater!
{12107}{12163}We have less than 72 hours.
{12209}{12264}Well, let's get looting.
{12279}{12309}[BENDER WHISTLES]
{12377}{12443}This thing will destroy|the whole city?
{12455}{12498}What the heck is it?
{12515}{12563}Just as I thought!
{12569}{12659}The answer lies in this movie|I found on the Internet.
{12733}{12800}NARRATOR:|New York City. The year 2000.
{12805}{12880}The most wasteful society|in history...
{12893}{13012}... was running out of places to bury|its never-ending output of garbage.
{13017}{13110}The landfills were full.|New Jersey was full.
{13116}{13218}Under cover of darkness, the city|put its garbage out to sea...
{13223}{13285}...on the world's largest barge.
{13290}{13322}[MAN WHISTLES]
{13394}{13478}The repulsive barge circled|the oceans for 50 years...
{13484}{13590}...but no country would accept it.|Not even that really filthy one.
{13596}{13640}You know the one I mean.
{13645}{13768}Finally, in 2052, the city used its|mob connections to obtain a rocket...
{13773}{13849}...and launch the garbage|into outer space.
{13854}{13936}Some experts claim the ball|may return to Earth.
{13941}{14027}But their concerns were dismissed|as "depressing. "
{14032}{14155}You got that off the Internet? In my|day it was only used to download porn.
{14160}{14218}Actually, that's still true.
{14223}{14285}Now that the garbage|is in space...
{14290}{14383}...perhaps you can help me|with my sexual inhibitions.
{14388}{14428}With gusto.
{14506}{14539}Aw!
{14545}{14650}That's it. Due to the|short-sightedness of Old New York. . .
{14655}{14746}. . .New New York will be|destroyed by a ball of garbage.
{14752}{14828}What the hell were you people|thinking then?
{14833}{14923}-How could you throw your garbage out?|-Give me a break.
{14929}{14991}-What do you do with it?|-We recycle.
{14997}{15127}-Robots are made from old beer cans.|-And this can's made from old robots.
{15133}{15208}That sandwich is made|of discarded sandwiches.
{15213}{15322}-Nothing just gets thrown away.|-The future is disgusting.
{15327}{15379}Typical 20th-century attitude.
{15384}{15455}You've no right to criticize|my century.
{15460}{15544}We invented the light bulb, steamboat|and cotton gin.
{15549}{15668}-Those are from the 1 9th century.|-They probably just copied us.
{15673}{15774}Please! There's no time for this now!|This is an emergency!
{15779}{15816}We must warn the mayor!
{15846}{15906}Garbage ball, huh?|That sounds serious.
{15911}{15966}Very serious, Mayor Poopenmeyer.
{15971}{16087}I hope this isn't a fraud like|global warming or second-hand smoke.
{16092}{16148}Send in my science adviser.
{16165}{16224}-Wernstrom!|-Well, well, well.
{16230}{16289}Come to present your latest napkin?
{16294}{16406}I'm here because a giant trash ball|is heading straight for us.
{16411}{16468}Smell for yourself.
{16560}{16622}Hey! Holy jeez!
{16629}{16677}That smell could be anything. . .
{16682}{16769}. . .a faulty stench coil,|cheese on the lens, who knows?
{16775}{16850}We just got this transmission|from Neptune!
{16870}{16928}RECORDED VOICE:|Giant garbage ball...
{16934}{16971}...passed close by.
{16994}{17037}Horrible stench!
{17043}{17119}[RECORDED VOICE GAGS]
{17152}{17208}The transmission ends there, sir.
{17220}{17264}[RECORDED VOICE GAGS]
{17269}{17323}No, I guess it keeps going.
{17328}{17418}[RECORDED VOICE GAGS AND STOPS]
{17434}{17478}-There we go.|-My God!
{17484}{17529}The senile old man is right!
{17534}{17588}-Do you mean him or me?|-Him!
{17681}{17744}Next, New New York in crisis.|Morbo?
{17750}{17791}Thanks, human female.
{17796}{17881}Puny earthlings were shocked|to learn that garbage...
{17887}{17948}... will destroy their pathetic city.
{17953}{18068}-I'm glad we live here in Los Angeles.|-Morbo agrees.
{18073}{18115}[NEWSCASTERS LAUGH]
{18144}{18253}-Can't we shoot a missile at it?|-The supercomputer's simulation. . .
{18258}{18363}. . .shows that the ball is too gooey.|Missiles would go through it.
{18400}{18523}But suppose we sent a crew to plant|an explosive on the fault line. . .
{18528}{18652}. . .between this mass of coffee grounds|and this deposit of AOL floppy disks?
{18709}{18754}In theory, it could work.
{18764}{18894}But you'll never find a crew willing|to go on such a suicidal mission.
{18940}{18973}Oh, crap!
{18988}{19060}FARNSWORTH: You only have one chance|to destroy the ball.
{19065}{19142}After that, it'll be so close|that blowing it up. . .
{19147}{19225}. . .would cause garbage to rain|on the entire planet. . .
{19230}{19297}-. . .killing billions.|-Boo-hoo.
{19302}{19351}Here's the bomb I've prepared.
{19356}{19433}Once activated, you have|25 minutes to get away.
{19438}{19488}-That's all--?|-Now, now.
{19493}{19585}We'll discuss your objections|when and if you return.
{19887}{19925}Odor at magnitude eight.
{19930}{19959}[CREW GAGS]
{19965}{20003}Magnitude 1 2.
{20022}{20058}Magnitude 31 !
{20080}{20111}We're breaking up!
{20117}{20183}Turn on the anti-smell device!
{20188}{20216}[DEVICE HISSES]
{20239}{20269}FRY:|Sporty.
{20385}{20468}-Wow!|LEELA: Look at all this filth.
{20473}{20501}FRY:|It's not filth.
{20506}{20593}It's a monument to 20th-century|achievements.
{20598}{20650}Look! A real Beanie Baby!
{20656}{20700}A Mr. Spock collector's plate!
{20705}{20729}[PLATE BREAKS]
{20735}{20778}Some Bart Simpson dolls!
{20844}{20908}BART DOLL: Eat my shorts.|-Okay!
{20919}{20968}Mmm, shorts!
{20973}{21068}This was garbage when it was new.|Let's blow it up already.
{21073}{21146}This junk isn't garbage!|I can dig anywhere. . .
{21152}{21203}. . .and find something great.
{21273}{21330}[FRY CHOKES]
{21420}{21478}All right, let's get to work.
{21610}{21648}Let's see.
{21653}{21768}If that's Hypodermic Ridge,|then the bomb goes right here.
{21848}{21900}Get ready. We've got 25 minutes.
{21936}{21981}"Fifteen minutes. "
{21986}{22048}"Five minutes. Six-H minutes"?
{22137}{22249}There's your problem. The professor|put the counter on upside down.
{22254}{22370}That idiot! It wasn't set for|25 minutes, it was set for 52 seconds.
{22376}{22403}[FRY SCREAMS]
{22408}{22483}-We're gonna die! Right?|-Right.
{22611}{22663}It's gonna blow!
{22737}{22796}Hey! You'll put somebody's eye out!
{22801}{22898}Okay, keep your space pants on.|I'll take care of this.
{23063}{23090}[EVERYONE SIGHS]
{23095}{23188}-We're saved.|-Yeah, but the ball's unstoppable now.
{23194}{23238}New New York is done for.
{23264}{23289}[SCRATCHING SOUND]
{23375}{23498}All in all, this is one day|Mittens the Kitten won 't soon forget.
{23532}{23590}Kittens give Morbo gas.
{23596}{23675}In lighter news, the city of|New New York is doomed.
{23681}{23758}Blame rests with human|Hubert Farnsworth...
{23764}{23843}...and his tiny inferior brain.
{23848}{23949}Oh! How could I have put|that timer on upside down?
{23954}{24028}I swear I followed|the manual precisely.
{24033}{24147}I'm a dried-up husk of a scientist.|This is all my fault.
{24152}{24203}No, it's my fault too.
{24208}{24286}I'm sure I threw out|more than my share of trash.
{24291}{24403}And when my toilet broke, I just|went straight in the garbage can.
{24423}{24532}Leela's right. The people of the|20th century were idiotic slobs.
{24538}{24613}-Especially me.|-Enough! You failed miserably.
{24618}{24683}Time to put a real scientist|in charge.
{24712}{24763}-Wernstrom!|-The very same.
{24768}{24868}-Wernstrom, can you save my city?|-Yes, but it'll cost you.
{24874}{24921}-First, I need tenure.|-Done.
{24926}{24974}-A research grant.|-You got it.
{24979}{25078}Lab access and five grad students,|at least three Chinese.
{25117}{25163}Done. What's your plan?
{25168}{25225}What plan? I'm set for life.
{25245}{25284}Au revoir, suckers.
{25290}{25395}-That rat! Do something!|-I would, but he's got tenure.
{25419}{25453}[PEOPLE GAG]
{25785}{25834}It's time to take action.
{25839}{25922}Stephanie, cancel the maid.|Have her come tomorrow.
{25931}{25998}Well, I'm out of ideas.|Anyone?
{26003}{26026}Wait!
{26032}{26162}If we could build an object of the|same size, density and consistency. . .
{26167}{26267}. . .it might knock the ball away|without smashing it to bits.
{26272}{26380}Where can we find a substance the|same density and consistency?
{26386}{26435}Alas, I don't know.
{26440}{26483}What about garbage?
{26488}{26601}Good Lord! A second ball of garbage!|That just might work!
{26607}{26680}You can't just find garbage|in the streets.
{26686}{26747}City's been garbage-free|for 500 years!
{26752}{26831}-Then it's time to make some more.|-Make garbage?
{26837}{26929}-But how?|-Stand back and watch the master.
{26933}{26983}This Slurm can?
{26988}{27053}Now it's garbage.|These papers?
{27058}{27128}Garbage.|This picture of your wife?
{27134}{27195}Pure garbage. Now you try it.
{27322}{27380}By God, I think the boy's|got something!
{27385}{27453}Come on, the fate of the city|is at stake!
{27458}{27484}Good.
{27489}{27614}Don't finish that. Throw it away.|Drink that beer and drop the bottle.
{27619}{27639}Very nice.
{27644}{27703}Get that robot some more beer!
{27713}{27824}Trashing this room's a start.|Let's get Fry's message to the people!
{27845}{27949}People of New New York,|take a lesson from the 20th century.
{27954}{28065}Stop this recycling and throw|your garbage on the floor.
{28070}{28186}Go on, chuck it anywhere like I did.|Your city is counting on you.
{28483}{28588}If my calculations are correct,|this ball will knock the other. . .
{28594}{28634}. . .directly into the sun!
{28640}{28753}If mine are correct,|we're all going to die horribly!
{28806}{28887}Places, everyone! Prepare for launch!
{28892}{28999}Five, four, three, two. . .
{29005}{29092}. . .three, four, five, six. . . .
{29097}{29148}Just fire the damn thing.
{29185}{29222}FRY:|Oops.
{29533}{29576}[HEART BEATING FAST]
{29581}{29628}[HEART BEATS ONCE]
{29633}{29678}[FAST DRUM BEAT]
{29975}{29997}[SNIFFS]
{29999}{30069}-Burning garbage!|-It worked!
{30144}{30263}And so, on behalf of the entire city,|I thank you, Professor Farnsworth.
{30268}{30368}I present you with the Academy prize,|which we confiscated. . .
{30373}{30460}. . .from Wernstrom after|we realized he was a jackass.
{30484}{30539}In your face, Wernstrom!
{30544}{30651}I'll get you, Farnsworth, even|if it takes another 1 00 years!
{30664}{30739}And Fry, we owe you|a tremendous debt as well.
{30744}{30809}Without your garbage-making skills. . .
{30815}{30890}. . .we'd all be buried under|20th-century garbage.
{30953}{31001}Should we be celebrating?
{31006}{31086}What if it returns to Earth|like the first one?
{31091}{31160}Who cares? That would take centuries.
{31166}{31234}Exactly. It's none of our concern.
{31240}{31313}That's the 20th-century spirit!
{31318}{31386}[CROWD CHEERS]
{32279}{32304}Subtitles by|SDI Media Group
{32308}{32333}[ENGLISH SDH]